I’m sure anyone with even the vaguest knowledge of Andy Dick is thinking, “Okay, what did he do this time.” Except for Jon Lovitz, who is probably thinking, “Hmmm…I don’t remember being in New Orleans.” But Andy Dick didn’t see this one coming.
Remember Andy Dick? He rubs his dick on people, he’s a petty thief, he was fired for sexual harassment, and oh yeah, he recently was charged with sexual battery? Well, add another thing to the list of shit Andy Dick needs to be punished for: making me feel sympathy for Ivanka Trump. Continue reading
Full-time disaster and part-time comedian, Andy Dick, has been hit with some more criminal charges. I’m telling you: this man has more problems with the law than he does IMDB credits.
TMZ listened to the whisperings of their sources in law enforcement and found out that a woman filed a police report saying that in April that Andy, “squeezed her butt twice as he walked past her on a sidewalk“. She claims he also tossed some “lewd comments” her way, because what kind of a butt groping is complete without also hurling some despicable remarks? NONE! Continue reading
Those kittens want off that scary ride.
Thoroughly unpleasant and formerly popular mess Andy Dick, 51, was fired for sexually harassing humans on the set of some independent movie that no one will ever see. The Hollywood Reporter says that Dick was dropped from the cast of Raising Buchanan after he was accused of behavior like “groping people’s genitals, unwanted kissing/licking and sexual propositions of at least four members of the production.” Go big or go home, eh Dick? Continue reading
It’s been over 10 long years since rap master Kevin Federline sharted out “PopoZão” and taught us that it’s possible to caca through our ear holes. The saying “genius takes time” is true and this newest work of art proves it. It took the Mozart of rap a decade to release a song that’ll make you wish Tampax made tiny tampons for your ears. Listening to it won’t cause you to caca through your ear holes, but you will bleed.
Throw on your Von Dutch trucker hat, pop your collar and put your Motorola Razr on mute, because TMZ has taken us all the way back to 2005 by posting KFed’s new video “Hollywood,” which also stars Andy Dick and Aaron Carter’s flow coach Crichy Crinch, whose claim to fame is getting Tara Reid’s name tattooed onto his arm. This mess is so 2005 that it’s practically a Four Loko stain on a pink UGG.
But KFed did manage to bring it to the NOW thanks to a scene where a fourth-tier Amber Rose impersonator (who looks more like a third-tier Susan Powter impersonator) and a fifth-tier Kanye West impersonator (who looks more like a fourth-tier Ray-J impersonator) get into some #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch action. The Amber/Kanye scene is pretty disappointing, because I doubt the booty hole Jesus uses drugstore lube like a normal peon. Kanye’s b-hole is probably self-lubricating, and not only that, but KFed missed an opportunity to make a “PooPooOw” joke.
There’s also a bootleg Leonardo DiCaprio impersonator in this for some reason. Brit Brit Spears must’ve cut KFed’s child support payments, because it’s obvious that everybody involved in this worked for dusty copies of Playing With Fire.
Believe it or not, the most painful part of that video isn’t the song or the sight of Andy Dick getting off while wiping his asshole with KFed’s CD. What’s really painful is that I still look at KFed and think to myself that I’d totally let him PopoZão me. No, I don’t love myself.
And here’s KFed looking like STAINS‘ strung out second cousin at Crazy Horse III in Las Vegas last December.
“That’s genius!” screamed Lindsay Lohan, as she began frantically rummaging around in Dina’s garage for her old bicycle.
According to TMZ, Andy Dick has once again redefined the word HOT MESS. Last week, Andy was riding his bike around Hollywood (note: I ride my bike everywhere, and even I wouldn’t ride around Hollywood. That shit is dangerous! I don’t wanna get hit by one of those homemade tour buses!) when he saw a guy wearing a chain he liked. So he pulled over and asked if he could see it. The guy recognized it was Andy Dick, thought “Surely a man with a history of being crazy won’t do anything crazy“, and handed over the $1000 necklace. That’s when Andy grabbed it and rode off.
TMZ says the owner of the chain then went to police to report that Andy Dick had stolen his joo-rey, but they couldn’t find him anywhere. Unfortunately for Andy, the police found him last night near his apartment in Hollywood, and they arrested his chain-stealing getaway bike-riding buttered popcorn-looking ass. He was released early this morning when someone posted his $25,000 bail.
The only thing I really want to know is how high was Andy Dick when this happened. You’ve got to be pretty fucked to steal someone’s necklace and ride away on a bicycle. Then again, you’ve got to be pretty fucked to hand over a necklace to Andy Dick on a bicycle. Then again, if you’ve ever lived in Hollywood (which I did for a very short time), you know that Andy Dick rolling up to you on a bike and asking to see your necklace is not even that weird. I’ve seen a Spiderman wearing Ugg boots slap another Spiderman with a Wetzel’s Pretzel at a bus stop once. So yeah, dude who handed over your necklace, I get it. You’re dumb, but I get it.