The jig is up! 56-year-old William Bradley Pitt’s been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. This particular cookie jar belongs to 27-year-old German model Nicole Poturalkski who was seen kissing William Bradley as the pair traveled by private jet from Charles De Gaulle airport in Paris to his Chateau Miraval estate in the south of France. Yes, the same estate where the judge who Brad’s mostly ex-wife Angelina Jolie is trying to get fired from their divorce case, married them back in 2014. Oh, and by the way, Nicole is said to look a touch like Angie. Wow, did you feel that? I don’t know about you but I just felt the temperature in the air drop by like 20 degrees. Because while Angie might not give a shit, I’m sure Odile Soudant, the French lighting designer who is currently suing Brad for credit on the work she did on Chateau Miraval, is none too pleased! A pox upon your (electrical) box, Pitt!
People started whispering about Brad Pitt and his alleged friend Alia Shawkat back in November, and the whispers continue. Except the whispers are often accompanied by confused shrugs and words like, “…I guess?” (at the very least there was a plethora of Maeby jokes). But Alia has recently made it very clear that she and Brad aren’t dating, and that they really are just friends.
Last week during a video conference with the Surgeon General of California, Angelina Jolie encouraged people to “check in with each other” during the ongoing coronavirus isolation situation. I’m guessing Alia Shawkat heard that and thought, “Sounds good, I’ll start with your ex.” And she might have taken the suggestion literally, because she was seen on Saturday leaving Brad Pitt’s gated community on her bike.
Ever since wrapping up a very successful awards season, William Bradley Pitt has retired to his pottery studio to escape the spotlight, making only occasional forays out into the world to attend concerts and eat In-N-Out with Alia Shawkat, his artistic young friend with a severe haircut. Despite rumors to the contrary, Brad insists that he and Alia are just friends, and I believe him. Brad’s one true love is obviously his carefully curated collection of hobo hats.
According to People magazine, Brad Pitt and his very good friend Alia Shawkat, were recently seen together in a VIP box at the Hollywood Bowl to hear Brad’s other good friend Kanye West perform his Bible-inspired opera.
Yesterday, Mieka posted about the rumor that 55-year-old Brad Pitt might be dating 30-year-old Alia Shawkat. It felt like an Arrested Development B-plot in which Maebe Fünke, fresh off of scamming her way back into her old job as a producer at Tantamount Studios, starts dating Brad Pitt after suggesting he’d be perfect as the lead in a reboot of Homeless Dad. But their pairing might be as fictional as that scenario I just made up, because sources are saying that there’s nothing romantic going on between them.