Three R. Kelly Associates Have Been Arrested For Witness Harassment, Bribery, And Intimidation
Since Robert Sylvester Kelly can’t read the news, I hope somebody at Chicago Metropolitan Correctional Center broke it to him quite rudely that three of his alleged friends/associates/sycophants have been arrested for allegedly trying to “harass, intimidate and bribe the alleged victims of R&B singer R. Kelly, who faces charges there [New York] and in Chicago.” According to the Chicago Sun-Times, a federal court in Brooklyn has charged Richard Arline Jr., Donnell Russell, and Michael Williams, with three different schemes involving alleged victims of Robert. The “nice one” (emphasis mine) allegedly tried to bribe a woman to not cooperate with feds, and the other two allegedly took more punitive approaches using blackmail and intimidation. That’s a helluva limb to out on for a friend. Joke’s on them, though. They won’t be receiving any thank you cards signed with one shaky backward “R”. Robert says he didn’t have anything to do with it. First the alleged rapes, sex trafficking and child pornography and now we find out he’s a shitty friend too? Robert really is the worst.
Maya Rudolph Is All For Playing Kamala Harris On “Saturday Night Live” Again
About a quick second after Joe Biden named Kamala Harris as his running mate yesterday, Maya Rudolph’s name started trending on Twitter, which makes you think that maybe Joe Biden should’ve picked Maya Rudolph AS Kamala Harris for his running mate. But everyone immediately thought of Maya because of her Emmy-nominated Kamala impersonation on Saturday Night Live. Well, Maya should start working on her Cuba Gooding Jr. “SHOW ME THE MONEY!” impersonation, because she’ll need to bring it out when Lorne Michaels calls her to play Kamala all through election season.
The Princess Diana Musical Will Premiere On Netflix Ahead Of Its Broadway Reopening
Back in June all you Anglophiles got your knickers in a twist over the news that Kristen Stewart was cast as Princess Diana in the upcoming biopic. While I was a little upset that they didn’t go for someone with a statement nose (a la Dorinda Medley), I shouldn’t have worried, because we’re already getting new Diana content!
Because Hamilton was a huge hit for Disney+, Diana: A New Musical, which was COVID-pulled right before its Broadway debut, is headed to Netflix ahead of its return to the stage next year. The production, which is directed by Christopher Ashley and stars Jeanna de Waal as Diana, will be filmed for Netflix without an audience. This will be the first time a Broadway production premieres on TV before its official opening night. Continue reading
Open Post: Hosted By The Last Blockbuster That Is Now An Airbnb
Every iconic artist will tell you that the key to longevity is creative reinvention. The world’s last remaining Blockbuster store clearly knows this (and also, that the biggest risk of career death is simply being a Blockbuster store). The last remaining Blockbuster store in the world, located in Bend, Oregon, wasn’t content with just being March 19, 2019’s Hot Slut of the Day. Oh no, they’ve decided to reinvent themselves as a short-term rental.
Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle Are Now Living In Santa Barbara
Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle can now easily skip on over to Oprah’s humble abode or Ellen DeGeneres’ little seaside shack (that’s if they want to contort their faces into an awkward smile while catching Ellen scorching a gardener’s face with her flaming words of rage for her grass being 1/10th of an inch too long) to borrow a cup of caviar or diamonds, or whatever rich people borrow from each other because they have permanently moved to the Santa Barbara area in California. And yes, I’m resisting the urge to Google, “Is the Whole Foods in Santa Barbara hiring a bagger?” so that I can finally say that I once bagged PHG’s organic eggplant.
The Rock Is Forbes’ Highest Paid Actor For The Second Year In A Row
As you sit there preparing to tuck into a can of beans you heated up over a flaming barrel fire fueled with the last stick of a broken down dining room chair and a volume of out-of-date encyclopedias, try to remember— things could be worse. At least you have beans. Just not as many beans as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has. He earned $87.5 million dollars this year making him the highest-paid actor of 2020 according to Forbes.