If you had asked me yesterday to write a list of possible headlines announcing some new Kristen Stewart news, here are some that seem well within the realm of possibility:
Kristen Stewart Announces Brand Partnership With Ambien
Kristen Stewart Tears Scapula Muscle After Cringing At A Clip of Herself From Twilight
Kristen Stewart’s Hair Breaks Up With Her After Being Humiliated With Another Busted Dye Job
I definitely would not have bet my last $20 on the chance that I would be talking about Kristen Stewart getting cast as Princess Diana in a biopic about Diana’s last days as Prince Charles’ wife. But this is where the universe has led us.
Deadline says that Pablo Larraín, who directed Natalie Portman in the 2016 biopic Jackie, is working on a movie titled Spencer. Just like how Jackie was about the week following the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Spencer will also be a short-timeline biopic. Spencer will span three days spent at Sandringham Estate as Diana spends one of her final Christmas holidays with the Royal Family before she decides to divorce Charles. That divorce announcement happened in 1996, so one could assume Spencer will take place in late 1995. Mid-’90s Diana? Poor Hailey Bieber.
Production is expected to begin in 2021, and Pablo Larraín had this to say about choosing Kristen Stewart:
“Kristen is one of the great actors around today. To do this well, you need something very important in film, which is mystery. Kristen can be many things, and she can be very mysterious and very fragile an ultimately very strong as well, which is what we need. The combination of those elements made me think of her. The way she responded to the script and how she is approaching the character, it’s very beautiful to see. I think she’s going to do something stunning and intriguing at the same time. She is this force of nature.
I’ve seen movies from Kristen that are so diverse it’s incredible, showing different layers and her diversity and strength as an actress. We’re very happy to have her, she’s very committed. As a filmmaker, when you have someone who can hold such a weight, dramatic and narrative weight just with her eyes, then you have the strong lead who can deliver what we are looking for.”
Pablo might be a Twihard from way back, because that’s the most praise I’ve seen for Kristen’s acting skills outside of a French awards ceremony. Kristen’s version of Diana won’t get too dark. As we all know, Princess Diana died in a car accident in 1997 in Paris, and Pablo says the movie definitely won’t touch on any of that.
Kristen definitely seems like a weird choice to play Diana, but I think maybe she can do it? Sure, it’s going to be a major transformation for Kristen. Her hair has to be one uniform color again. But Diana was 34 in December 1995, and Kristen Stewart will be 31 when filming begins. So the age is right. And Kristen can scowl under her eyebrows really well, and you know Diana did that every time she caught a whiff of Camilla every time Charles’ two-timing ass slunk into a room.
But above all, the biggest asset Kristen has to work with is the fact that it’s not 2013, and her name isn’t Naomi Watts. Because even if Kristen’s interpretation of Diana is to shrug, “This marriage is crowded, dude” in a bad British accent, the reviews still won’t be as bad as they were for Diana.