I know it seems apocryphal to say, given #thesetryingtimes, that earth is healing, but the signs are everywhere if you know where to look. For one, it’s raining today in Northern California. Right outside my window, I can clearly see, AND HEAR, actual precipitation falling from the sky. My feetsies are a little cold too. So when I say all is not lost, you’ve got to believe me. To wit — After a two-year pandemic hiatus, Heidi Klum’s annual Halloween extravaganza popped off in New York with Heidi doing The Worm on the red carpet. And when I say she was doing The Worm, what I really mean is she was doing The Worm That Will Haunt My Every Waking Moment.
Open Post: Hosted By Machine Gun Kelly Snorting “Cocaine” Off Megan Fox’s Boobs As Tommy Lee And Pam Anderson
Last week, people speculated that Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly were over cuz they laid low over the summer. Turns out the couple was just saving all their energy for the Annual March of the Attention Whores, aka Halloween. This weekend they dressed up in two different couples costumes: BDSM-Catholic types, and Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And because giant fake boobs and tattoos aren’t as edgy as they were 25 years ago, MGK went the extra mile and posted a video of himself snorting “cocaine” off of Meg/Pam’s chest through a rolled-up dollar bill. No word on what the mysterious white substance actually was. Baby powder? Flour? Anthrax? Continue reading
Madonna Kept Her Instagram Mess Train Rolling By First Going Topless And Then Posing As A Sexy Zombie
As we all know, Madonna is still horny as hell and recently asserted that over the past 30+ years, she’s paved the way for artists like Cardi B and others to be inspired by their own dewy nethers. Her preferred medium for expressing her insistence that she’s still got it is Instagram, and she made sure to keep her recent posts seasonally appropriate by giving us “boo!” spooks when she displayed her Madgebags with precariously placed emojis over her nips and then followed that up by posting an unsettling clip of her as a thirsty zombie.
If you’ve been planning on buying one of those 12-foot skeletons from Home Depot to put on your lawn for Halloween, may I suggest something far more terrifying and spine-chilling? Take a gander at the Karen erected by the people of Prosser, Washington. The monstrosity was placed in front of City Hall and featured a Karen name tag as well as a shirt with the phrase “Can I speak to the manager?” emblazoned on it. There’s spooky, and then there’s downright scary! Unfortunately for this Karen, a bunch of actual Karens came for her and demanded that she be taken down. Looks like irony came to Washington.
The next time you step into your local cinema and get that sticky floor feeling with every step, be aware that it might not be spilled Coca-Cola. There’s a new film out for the Halloween season, and it’s supposedly getting everyone sick all over the place. Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the movies! The horror flick in question is Terrifier 2, and according to viewers (or the press team, depending on how much you believe this stuff), is so graphic that some people have passed out or thrown up on themselves. Ah, the smell of sawdust and last night’s chicken pot pie really adds to the date night ambiance.
No, not a movie about your conventional ghastly Halloween spirits, a movie actually based around the Spirit Halloween store that pops up in the abandoned JCPenney in your town every spooky season that sells costumes and decor and where John Travolta probably purchases his dreadful wigs. What, was the As Seen on TV store already booked for a movie deal? I personally find both ShamWow’s Vince Shlomi and My Pillow’s Mike Lindell exponentially more terrifying, but a trailer for Spirit Halloween: The Movie dropped yesterday and it looks just about how you’d expect.