Well, there goes my future-hope of an Iron Man spin-off franchise called Iron Supplement-Poppin’ Grandpa. Although I should not be surprised. Robert Downey Jr. said several years ago that he wanted to quit playing the titular Iron Man before it got embarrassing, and that he didn’t want to “drop the ball,” so to speak. And he won’t, because there are no balls to hold anymore. Robert Downey Jr. has confirmed that his appearances as Iron Man are done.
Hollywood claims it’s open for business again and that people can begin socially distanced filming (the success of which remains to be seen). But for me, the real sign that celebrities are officially back to work will be when they begin to fulfill their contractual obligation to the almighty press circuit. But when they do, Ben Mulroney won’t be reporting on it every night. Because Jessica Mulroney’s husband has decided to step back from his hosting duties at eTalk.
For a generation of Gen X and Millennial youths, Skeet Ulrich was hot dirtbag Billy from Scream or hot dirtbag Chris from The Craft. But to the youths of Gen Z, Skeet is Jughead Jones’ hot dirtbag dad on Riverdale. At least, he was for the first four seasons of Riverdale. In February, Skeet announced he was done playing Daddy Jones, which was bad news for the creators of Riverdale, who were now tasked with pulling off television’s least-successful casting challenge, the Darrin Stephens switcheroo.
Skeet’s reason for leaving was very mysterious and mildly dramatic. But Skeet has recently explained why he wasn’t returning to Riverdale, and basically, he didn’t want to be bored out of his greasy skull any longer.
Dr. Jane Goodall, who is a casual friend of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, recently revealed that Harry might consider giving up the grand royal tradition of sport hunting, all because Meghan isn’t a fan. Another story implying Meghan is making Harry give up a royal family tradition? The British press is bound to have a field day with this one. I can see the pun-heavy headlines now. “Meghan fires back at Harry: I’m the only thing you should be pointing your pistol at and mounting in the living room!
Well here’s some news I definitely wasn’t expecting to write today. Queen Elizabeth better hop on Glassdoor and start researching what kind of questions one might ask during an exit interview. Because Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan have just announced that they have made the decision to quit being senior-level royals.
It’s the end of an era. The party is no longer here. The pickle jar lid will no longer be covered in teeny-tiny self-tanner handprints. Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has announced that she is officially submitting her notice of retirement from Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. The quack quack quack of the duck phone will be turned off in observation of a moment of silence.