The Vogue interns got a brief moment of mercy this year when they found out Anna Wintour wouldn’t be sending them through the wood chipper for seating her next to Pimp Mama Kris. Instead, it’s the 2018 Met Gala co-chair, Amal Clooney, who is making everyone at the Haus of Winter and Tom Ford angrily eat carbs because she didn’t wear a Tom Ford dress on the Met Gala red carpet like they thought she would. Continue reading
When one feud closes, another opens! Katy Perry must have realized her American Idol check is a one-and-done kind of deal and is eventually going to have to do a duets album to get back on the Top 40 because she sent a literal olive branch to Taylor Swift, and the Butterscotch Don seemed to bite and accept the peace offering. But someone who is not thrilled to be in the presence of Katy is Rihanna, as one report would have us believe those two have been sparring since around the time Katy was canoodling with Orlando Bloom. Continue reading
The Met Gala isn’t a human and isn’t even alive, and yet, that bitch is still getting more action than me.
The theme for the Met’s costume exhibit is Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and Catholic Imagination, but the dress code for the Gala was “Sunday best.” Now, my Sunday best is a faded black Dollywood t-shirt and some Fruit of the Loom sweat shorts covered with chicharron crumbs, wine splatters and lube drops from snacking, boozing and watching porn on my couch. But I guess “Sunday best” to famous rich hos is a crown that weighs more than their head and all of the fabric found in the “Perfect For Granny’s Living Room Curtains” section at Hobby Lobby.
You can always be sure of three things at the Met Gala: some bitches are going to completely disregard the theme, Anna Wintour (pics of her below) will wince her way down the red carpet as though she’s running a list of what interns she’s going to sacrifice for inviting one too many a-Kardashian to her big night, and the Olsen twins will scowl their way down…as though photographers are shouting at them the names of all their straight-to-VHS movies from the 90s. Nobody disappointed last night!
Even though last night’s theme was “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination,” Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen arrived looking like their invitation said the theme was “Coachella Hair and Solstice Party Muumuus.” People says Mary-Kate rocked the all-black get-up, which I guess is a nod to a nun’s habit? Ashley’s multicolored fashion is a nod to the divorcee seeking forgiveness from the nun? Or maybe she just got her events confused and was hoping the Sorting Hat would take one look at her and let her join Harry, Hermione, and Ron in Gryffindor?
The pair of Rachel Zoe horcruxes rocked Stephen Webster jewelry, and Vogue notes the boho lewk is actually vintage Paco Rabanne. The twins typically stay out of the limelight, and the Met Gala is usually the one night out of the year they go out in public and try to teach Posh Spice how a veteran is really supposed to serve pained expression to the paparazzi. ‘Til next year’s theme, which is…aw, who cares. The Olsen invitation will still read “Coachella Hair and Solstice Party Muumuus.”
Before Harvey Weinstein was officially outed as the closest DNA relative to a bridge troll, it seemed as though every red carpet had at least one star in a Marchesa dress. Marchesa is co-owned by Harvey’s now-estranged wife Georgina Chapman. Then the stories about Harvey went public, and A-list actresses were running away from Marchesa as if it was a deep-fried gluten sandwich. Nobody wanted to wear Marchesa anymore. Well, nobody until Scarlett Johansson, who did just that at the Met Gala.
At This Performance Of Omaha Community Theater’s Production Of “Perestroika,” The Role Of The Angel Will Be Played By…
Pro tip: If you’re going to a party dressed like an intergalactic go-go dancing angel complete with ten hundred foot wide wings and you have to travel in a convertible since your ass can’t fit in a regular car, make sure that convertible is working right. Or else your big grand dramatic entrance will turn into a scene from the saddest parade ever:
Taylor Swift wasn’t at the Met Gala last night, but I’m sure that earlier in the night, she was in front of Katy’s hotel taking some pliers to that car’s wires as Olivia Benson and Meredith Grey played lookout.