At This Performance Of Omaha Community Theater’s Production Of “Perestroika,” The Role Of The Angel Will Be Played By…

May 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Pro tip: If you’re going to a party dressed like an intergalactic go-go dancing angel complete with ten hundred foot wide wings and you have to travel in a convertible since your ass can’t fit in a regular car, make sure that convertible is working right. Or else your big grand dramatic entrance will turn into a scene from the saddest parade ever:

Taylor Swift wasn’t at the Met Gala last night, but I’m sure that earlier in the night, she was in front of Katy’s hotel taking some pliers to that car’s wires as Olivia Benson and Meredith Grey played lookout.

Katy Perry looking like the lady look-for-less version of Johnathon Pryce is Brazil tore the internet into pieces (not really). Some hated it because they thought that it was over-the-top, attention whorey, cheesy, ridiculous and a waste of chicken feathers. Others loved it because it’s over-the-top, attention whorey, cheesy, ridiculous and a waste of chicken feathers. I’m with the ones who loved it, because if your ridiculous Met Gala outfit doesn’t bring the eye rolls, you’re doing it wrong. That’s the whole point. Yes, Katy’s outfit and wings fit about as well as a Magnum condom on Shia LaBeouf’s dick, but I’m into it for the sole fact that she looked like an unauthorized She-Ra character doll sold at Big Lots. I would’ve begged for that doll at Christmastimes.

But my thoughts and prayers are with the poor bitches who worked coat check at the Met Gala last night. They are probably laid up in the hospital with broken bones after handling the heavy ass shit that people wore last night, like those wings. But I am surprised that Katy didn’t also wear a news ticker halo with the words, “Buy Witness On iTunes NOW,” scrolling on a loop.

Speaking of halos, Basement Baby paired one (which used to be a plate charger from Pier 1) with a du-rag, Florida Water, and a dress made out of shellacked melted tires. It looks like she’s got a giant, long alien coochie too. That’s why Beyonce didn’t show up to the Met Gala. Beyonce wasn’t a no show because of some last-minute vacation, she knew she couldn’t compete with her sister’s giant, long alien coochie dress.

And here’s some others who wore the halo look including Janelle Monae, Lily Collins as a white chola Illuminati princess, and Rosie Huntington-Whateverly as a beautiful Christmas tree angel on all the Ambien.


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