Category: Joe Biden
Bill Burr’s “Saturday Night Live” Monologue Divided The Internet, Or Something
Comedian Bill Burr hosted Saturday Night Live last night (with Jack White filling in as musical guest after that country nobody Morgan Wallen was dropped for acting a COVID fool), and his opening monologue gave some a case of the cringes and others a case of of the slow claps. Bill went in on cancel culture and anti-maskers and wondered why Pride Month gets June while Black History Month gets the short month of February. Bill also had things to say about white women, so he just replaced a mandatory mask sign as “Karen” enemy #1.
Jim Carrey Brought Out His Joe Biden On The Season Premiere Of “Saturday Night Live”
After finishing up last season with those acid-trip at-home episodes, Saturday Night Live was back in the studio for its 46th season and performed for an audience made up of a handful of first responders in masks who were probably thinking, “Err, should I be taking a risk for this!?” For the cold open, Alec Baldwin slapped another fire hazard on his head to squint and pout as Donald Trump, Maya Rudolph was back as Kamala Harris, and Jim Carrey debuted his Joe Biden. But because the current news cycle is like a deranged roadrunner on speed, they should’ve just opened with a view of the writers’ head spinning while trying to keep up with the news.
Donald And Melania Trump Are Both Experiencing “Mild Symptoms” After Testing Positive for COVID-19
Like many Americans, when I read the news last night that President Donald Trump and the First Lady Melania Trump had both tested positive for COVID-19, I braced myself for the worst. With the announcement coming as late as it did (Trump tweeted his and Melania’s diagnosis at 1:00 AM EST ), I was forced to go to bed before knowing the veracity of the statement or having had the time to fully process what this news could mean for our nation. This morning I learned that those dumb asses really got that shit!
After Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle Encouraged Americans To Vote, Trump Said That He’s Not A Fan And Wished PHG “Luck”
On National Voter Registration Day, Meghan Markle and Prince Hot Ginge did a video, which played during the televised Time 100 special, where they got into the importance of voting and shat on hate speech. PHG wasn’t wearing a “Ginger Bros For Joe” t-shirt, and they never mentioned the name Joe Biden or endorsed Biden. But many still got their assholes twisted up about it, and because there’s absolutely nothing else going on in the country besides this, a reporter from The Daily Mail (of course) asked Donald Trump how he feels about Meghan and PHG “essentially encouraging people to vote for Joe Biden.” Trump didn’t have Mean Girls-like words for PHG (Why would he? PHG is a rich white dude whose mom Trump believes he could’ve had sex with if she took an HIV test). But he did shit-talk Meghan by saying he’s not a fan, which really is the ultimate compliment.
Zelda Williams Dragged Eric Trump For Using Her Father To Diss Joe Biden
Zelda Williams had to collect Eric Trump after he used an old clip of her father, Robin Williams, to mock Joe Biden. Zelda reminded Eric on Twitter what Robin thought of his father, Donald Trump, and it’s a much less glowing review than the one Joe Biden got–one that includes suggestions of incest. The Trump family loves to ask people to dunk on them!
Kanye West Pretty Much Admits That His Presidential Campaign Is Designed To Hurt Joe Biden’s Chances
Kanye West is supposed to be focusing on Operation: Save His Shit Marriage in an “island fortress” somewhere in the Dominican Republican, but I guess Pimp Mama Kris’ Zoom call presentation, where she uses storyboards to show how they can stretch out the inevitable KimYe divorce for maximum attention and profits, doesn’t take all day. Because Kanye managed to pull himself away for a minute to talk to his good friends at Forbes about how the Donald Trump campaign is helping him get on the ballot in certain states. That move makes it look like Kanye2020 is a reboot of JillStein2016, and he didn’t deny that, but he later tweeted that his goal is to win it all. So basically he’s Amber Rose’s three fingers and the presidential race is his booty hole because he’s all the way in.