Category: Joe Biden
Armie Hammer Pulled A Susan Sarandon
I’m envious of Elizabeth Chambers who, after 10 years of marriage, was able to divorce Armie Hammer while the rest of us, after 10 long years of trying to make Armie Hammer happen, still have to endure Armie Hammer. Armie, AKA The Silver Spoon Socialist, has once again #TakentoTwitter with some political hot takes. Following in the footsteps of Susan Sarandon, Armie tweeted, then deleted, a case for “another American revolution” over voting for Joe Biden. Armie may have taken a bite out of a mushy cum filled peach, but is he ready to have Debra Messing take a bite out of him? Because other than being Megan Mullally, this is the best way to get Messinged with.
Kanye West, Who Was Never In The Presidential Race, Is Possibly Out Of The Presidential Race
Chance The Rapper Wants To Know Why Joe Biden Is A Better Presidential Candidate Than Kanye West
Slap me on the ass and call me mother. He’s running. It looks like Chance The Rapper has his sights set on becoming the Mike Pence of the Kanye West administration. Unlike millions of Americans who don’t have the time or mental bandwidth for Kanye’s bullshit right now, Chance is apparently taking his Chicago brethren’s possibly bipolar episode induced declaration of candidacy seriously. Vulture reports that Chance’s bid to become Kanye’s Secretary of Hotepery began when he retweeted a video for Kanye’s latest single Donda (a tribute to Kanye’s late mother) with the statement “And yall out here tryna convince me to vote for Biden. Smfh.” He then posed a series of questions to his followers and asked “can someone explain why Joe Biden would be better??”
*****spoilers ahead*****
Wanda Sykes Showed Scott Baio Who’s Really In Charge
As if our current political discourse wasn’t ridiculous enough as it is, alleged tiny dick haver and Donald Trump superfan Scott Baio has entered the chat. Last week, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden got his gaffe on when his appearance on The Breakfast Club ended with him saying “you ain’t black” [if you vote for Trump]. At the time, Wanda Sykes, comedian and former producer/writer for the revival of Roseanne, defended Joe’s remarks on Twitter, saying that it was a (bad) joke and at least “he didn’t say 2 go shoot Clorox in our tits.” Scott, presumably still smarting from having recently injected Clorox in his tits, took offense. Scott thought he was back in charge of something and tried to let Wanda know what time it was. Lo and behold, he must have one of those sex watches like Drake has, because he was spot on! It absolutely was Wanda’s Foot Up His Ass-O’Clock.
Tara Reid Is Reportedly Using The Confusion With Tara Reade To Do A Motivational Speaking Tour
As you all definitely know, presidential candidate Joe Biden has been accused of sexual assault by former Senate aide Tara Reade. And that name has made some people think, “Wait, Bunny Lebowski was a Senate aide in the early-90s ?!” That’s Tara Reid and apparently the confusion has gotten her a lot of attention on social media and reinvigorated her career like a Sharknado. So she’s going to take that opportunity to do speaking engagements. That’s what Page Six says so, anyway.
Joe Biden Reportedly Rejected A Campaign Donation From Louis C.K.
Ever since Louis C.K. confirmed the longstanding rumors that he was a dick-yanking creep, and was subsequently fired and dropped from everything, he’s been trying to stage his big comeback. Between the red hair and the delusion, he’s like if Valerie Cherish were awful. And his comeback just hasn’t happened yet, because it seems that every time his name is in the news, it’s for something bad. Remember Louis LOL-ing about the n-word? Or when Louis roasted up the surviving Parkland High School shooting victims? We’ve got a new one to add to the list of Embarrassing Reasons Why Louis CK Is Trending Today, and it’s because Joe Biden sent back a donation Louis made to his 2020 Presidential campaign.