Category: Joe Biden
Joe Biden And Kamala Harris Have Won!
FUCKING FINALLY! “You’re fired!” – America to trump.
You’re probably reading this from inside of a Russian research vessel with a $200 million necklace in your pocket because we’re all Old Rose from Titanic since we’ve been waiting 84 years for this election to fucking end. It’s been decades since Election Day, and yes 2000-me is looking at 2020-me like, “Calm down, we had to wait until DECEMBER, also you should’ve used more moisturizer, trick!” But the 2020 U.S. Presidential Election has finally been called. Joe Biden is now the President-elect and with Kamala Harris, we will soon have our first woman and person of color Vice President!!! Well, the good news for Trump is that he no longer has to pretend like he doesn’t know how to pronounce Kamala’s name because he can keep it simple and call her Madame Vice President. And that thud you heard wasn’t only from all of the White House silverware falling out of Ivanka, Don Jr., and Eric’s coats as they try to smuggle stuff out. It’s also from Election Night Masters, CNN’s John King and MSBNC’s Steve Kornacki, passing out into 4-year comas, which they’ll wake up from on Election Night 2024.
Lady Gaga’s Dad Tweeted Support For Trump After Trump Dissed His Daughter
As some of us run off to Oregon to beg officials to make their bad shit law legal NOW so we can numb the anxiety of looking at the newest results in the presidential battle, Lady Gaga might be crossing her dad’s name off of her Thanksgiving dinner guest list. Because while Lady Gaga has been campaigning for Joe Biden, Pappy Gaga (government name: Joe Germanotta) jacked off Donald Trump on Twitter, even though Trump called her “not good” and went full gossiping biddy by saying that he could tell us stories about that one. Bitch please, Benita Butrell, Trump ain’t!
Lady Gaga Gave A Shout Out To Her Old “Pennsylvania Guy” Taylor Kinney At Joe Biden’s Rally Last Night
As promised, Lady Gaga was the closing night act of Joe Biden’s final presidential campaign rally in his home state of Pennsylvania. Joe is from Scranton, and if he really wanted to go full-on hometown, he should’ve brought out every single cast member of The Office on stage. I don’t know what they would have done once they got up there. Sang the Dunder-Mifflin jingle that Darryl Philbin wrote while Dwight fired beets out of a cannon? This is why I’m not a campaign manager.
Lady Gaga said her connection to Pennsylvania is that she used to live in Lancaster. And just in case you still weren’t convinced of Lady Gaga’s Pennsylvania connection, she reminded everyone that she used to date Taylor Kinney, who is from Lancaster.
The Internet Wasn’t Exactly Feeling Lady Gaga’s Attempt To Go Country For Joe Biden
No, you’re not looking at a picture taken of Gwen Stefani at her and Blake Shelton’s engagement party. It’s Lady Gaga dressed in Lady Gaga’s best interpretation of “Real America” to let everyone know how she’s voting come November 3rd, which she didn’t really have to do, considering we all probably could have guessed with 100% accuracy that it wasn’t for Donald Trump. She really wanted to push that a vote for Joe Biden was a vote for America. But maybe she should have left those artificial country girl vibes back in the Joanne era because her little voting video quickly got dragged online.
50 Cent Clarifies That He Doesn’t Like Donald Trump
Bear in mind, this is an old picture of 50 Cent and President Donald Trump, taken eight months before he became President in 2016. But that picture can sort of serve as the ultimate proof of 50’s flip-flopping ability. First, he takes a smiling picture with Trump, and captions it: “Me and my president maybe.” Then a year later, 50 claims he had turned down a $500,000 check for a Trump campaign appearance, because it was, “not good money.”
And just like the first time Trump ran, 50 Cent came out in support of Trump, in one of the stupidest ways possible, by claiming he’d be voting for Trump because Joe Biden was going to tax too much of his money. Then 50’s ex Chelsea Handler got involved as the unofficial voice of reason, and what do you know, 50 is once again walking back his support of Trump.
Chris Pratt Isn’t Going To Assemble With The Rest Of The Avengers To Raise Funds For Joe Biden
Chris Pratt is many things. Actor. Buff guy. At one time the most enjoyable part of NBC’s Parks and Recreation. But Chris Pratt is also a not-so-secret likely right-leaning fundamentalist Christian bro involved with a questionable celebrity church (that he swears isn’t as homophobic as you’ve heard). And so with that being said, it’s probably not too much of a mystery who he could possibly be voting for this November. At the very least, he’s made it very clear that he doesn’t want to be associated with a possible vote for Joe Biden, by skipping out on an Avengers-wide fundraising event.