Zelda Williams had to collect Eric Trump after he used an old clip of her father, Robin Williams, to mock Joe Biden. Zelda reminded Eric on Twitter what Robin thought of his father, Donald Trump, and it’s a much less glowing review than the one Joe Biden got–one that includes suggestions of incest. The Trump family loves to ask people to dunk on them!
Last month, Ivana Trump became single once again when she broke up with her ex-husband-turned-boyfriend, Rossano Rubicondi. The two had been together for over ten years, but I guess they just didn’t see eye-to-eye on the whole border situation. Just Kidding, you think these two nitwits give a shit about that? Ivana just got bored of him, saying their relationship had “run its course.” Rossano is taking it well, and now he’s talking shit about her kids–which I am fully here for and is a concept I support.
The Chicago Tribune reports that Eric Trump – the dumb adult son of Donald that isn’t Donald Jr. – visited a bar in Chicago last night, and things didn’t go so well for him. A female employee of The Aviary, the bar in question, allegedly spat on Eric. That’s funny, I always assumed that people secretly spat in Eric’s drinks and food, but now it looks like they’re just cutting out the middle man.
E News! is reporting that there is another Trump coming our way and the devil family has spawned again. That’s strange… I didn’t notice the water turn to blood, birds falling from the skies, or darkness blotting out the sun… Maybe it was only in Manhattan? It seems that Eric Trump and his wife Lara Trump are expecting their second child.
If there were ever any doubts in your mind that Omarosa is a grifter nonpareil, this week should have secretly recorded them and penned a tell-all book called This Dummy Thought I Wouldn’t. Like a DJ sifting through a crate of bangers, Omarosa has pulled out yet another secret recording and turned the volume up to 11. TMZ reports that Omarosa just released an incriminating recording, this time of Lara Trump (that’s Eric Trump, AKA Droopy’s wife), offering her a pay-off for keeping her mouth shut on the heels of her departure from whatever her job at the white house was.
Do I even have to say what one of those things was? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Tom Arnold appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night to promote his upcoming show on Viceland, The Hunt for the Trump Tapes, in which he embarks on a journey to find all manner of Trump tapes. Tom tells Jimmy Kimmel that he’s known Trump for 30 years, and that he’s done business with Trump. Tom also claims Trump and producer Mark Burnett used to call him up and beg him to appear on The Celebrity Apprentice. The reason you never saw Tom Arnold slinging pizza for charity was because, as he described it: “The Apprentice is such a crappy show that I wouldn’t do it…That says a lot, because I do everything.”