While Ben Affleck Galavants In Paris, Jennifer Garner Is “Getting Quite Close” With Her Burger Boyfriend

July 27, 2022 / Posted by:

For the past four years, Jennifer Garner and her Robot Burger Man, CaliBurger CEO John Miller, have been “getting serious. In that same span of time, her ex Ben Affleck has gone from “beaming” with Ana de Armas, to being “head over heels in love and in this for the long term,” with Ana, to being “in different points in their lives” with Ana, to being “a perpetually glum cuckold” with Ana, to talking about being having felt  “trapped” in his marriage to Jennifer, to being “just friends” with Jennifer Lopez, to having enabled the the first clear shots with JLo on a balcony, to being “madly in love” with JLo, to “looking at massive homes” with JLo, to being “in it for the long haul” with JLo, to exchanging “shock nuptials at a Las Vegas wedding chapel” with JLo, to “sleeping with his mouth wide open in public” on his honeymoon with some woman named Jennifer Lynn Affleck. However, Jen the First is catching up quickly! Us Weekly reports that she and John are now “getting quite close!

As we know, Ben and JLo have been testing the limits of what an insane number of costume changes constitutes all over Paris’ most public promenades. And they’ve been dragging along the bulk of their combined broods to bear witness to the pitfalls of fame. However, Jen the First is offering them a peek at an alternative lifestyle. Us Weekly reports:

Ready for the next step? Jennifer Garner and boyfriend John Miller are “getting quite close” with each other’s families, a source exclusively reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly.

The couple keep their relationship “very private,” per the insider. “They meet at each other’s houses — even for a quick glass of wine or for a low-key dinner date night away from prying eyes.”

Garner, 50, and the businessman, 44, will stay the night with one another “when the timing is right” and have jetted off on “secret getaways” to New York, Italy and beyond, the source tells Us.

Girl, it’s been four years. The next step is to either shit or get a more comfortable pot. I fear this one is a dud. I don’t even think he’s going to fulfill his promise of becoming an evil robot overlord hellbent on turning the world’s population into sizzling beef patties. The Instagram page for CaliBurgerUSA hasn’t been updated in 2-years, their Facebook Page hasn’t been touched since 2016, and even then seems to have been overrun by Jewelry peddling robots and their Twitter account is currently suspended. I wonder if John has considered pivoting to a newsletter? I hear that’s what all the true moguls are doing these days.

Incidentally, I find it “quite hilarious” that these are the 2 Jens of Ben. Or is it Ben’s 2 Jens? Both work!

I know which one makes me “giddy!

Pics: ROGER WONG/INSTARimages.com, Backgrid

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