Category: Brad Pitt’s Ponytail
Angelina Jolie Had Lunch With “Environmentalist” Billionaire David Mayer de Rothschild
If you find that you absolutely must suck up to a billionaire, find you one like Angelina Jolie’s recent lunch date, David Mayer de Rothschild. Not only has his family name been swinging doors (and legs) open since the 16th century, but he’s worth approximately $10 billion, under 50, 6’4” tall, and claims to be an “environmentalist.” Not to be confused with that other noted Eco-warrior, poor distant relation Nicky Hilton Rothschild, David doesn’t just play at environmentalism by dressing the part, according to Page Six, “per his Instagram bio, he also wants to ‘warn and inform people about global warming.’” In case you were wondering what he and Angie discussed over lunch at Nobu Malibu last Thursday.
Brad Pitt, Who Is Not Worried About The Age Gap In His New Relationship, Put His LA Compound On The Market For $40 Million
As Brad Pitt magnanimously awaits a peaceful resolution to his custody dispute with Angelina Jolie, he appears to be taking stock of where life has brought him thus far, and found it lacking, if not in wealth, perhaps in meaning. According to People, Brad has “quietly listed” his Los Feliz home of 30 years for $40 million. What good is a sprawling compound if you have no one with which to share its bounty? What good is a swimming pool, tennis court and skating rink on 1.9 acres in a dense urban enclave to a divorced dad of six whose only true goal in life is to be loved (by the HFPA et al)? When does “real property” become a painful specter of all that’s been lost, and all your heart truly yearns for, is all that’s yet to be found? When one is stripped of the trappings of fame and fortune, all that remains is the truth.
Sources Claim Angelina Jolie Is Trying To “Inflict Pain” On Brad Pitt By Requesting The FBI Report About Their 2016 Private Jet Fight Be Released To The Public
If wearing a skirt on the red carpet of his Bullet Train premiere in Berlin earlier this summer was Brad Pitt’s plan-A to distract us from the imminent release of an FBI report Angelina Jolie initiated back in the stone age following the now infamous 2016 fight the couple had on their private jet that eventually led to Brad producing and starring in Six-Years a Divorcé, his plan-B seems to be calling People Magazine’s emergency PR crisis hotline and reminding them how many exclusives of his babies he’s signed off on for them over the years.
Andra Day Says She Doesn’t Know Brad Pitt So They Certainly Aren’t Dating
Reports that Brad Pitt and Andra Day were seen “flirting” and exchanged numbers at the Academy Awards ceremony last April were news to Andra Day. Speaking at Entertainment Tonight from last night’s BET awards, Andra had to be reminded that they’d ever even met but complimented him on his beautiful gowns all the same. Yes, not only did Andra win a Golden Globe and get nominated for an Oscar for her portrayal of Billie Holiday, but she also has a killer Aretha Franklin impression in her repertoire. What’s more, she’s also got a serviceable Mariah Carey “I don’t know her” in her toolkit to boot.
The 2021 Oscars Red Carpet > Brad Pitt’s Ponytail < Literally Anything Else
If last night’s Oscars ceremony can be summed up in a single image, it’s that of Brad Pitt’s struggle ponytail:
Inject Brad Pitt and his lil man bun into my veins #Oscars pic.twitter.com/SPqXb51ZMG
— Jamie Blynn (@jamieblynn) April 26, 2021
It was confusing, unnecessary, washed out, and honestly, kind of rude. Just like the show, it ended abruptly yet was also way too long. Give us Legends of the Fall locks undulating like a field of wheat in a summer breeze Brad, or give us nothing and keep it moving. Trust me, nobody wants a pinky finger’s worth of hay held together with the twist tie from a bag of Ezekiel bread. Thankfully Brad’s angry inch was outshone by the red carpet which was one of the only saving graces about this year’s ill-conceived mid-pandemic Oscars ceremony.