Back in May, Jenelle Evans of Teen Mom 2 and her husband David Eason, the human equivalent of a Calvin pissing on MY EX car decal, lost temporary custody of their children after he put down the family dog, Nugget. Child Protective Services took their 2-year-old Ensley and placed her with Jenelle’s mother, Barbara. Jenelle’s 4-year-old son Kaiser went to stay with his father Nathan Griffith. Barbara has custody of Jenelle’s 9-year-old son Jace, so he wasn’t removed. Instead, CPS said Jace’s visits at his mom’s house were suspended. David’s 11-year-old daughter Maryssa, whom he had custody of,went to live with her mom. TMZ is now reporting that a judge has gone ahead and given Jenelle two of her children back.
What you are looking at is a picture of former Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans and a human can of Skoal, her husband David Eason, in what appears to be a tree lot a few weeks before last Christmas. And according to TMZ, there’s a 50% chance Jenelle and David either just had a visit from the cops, or were about to get a visit from the cops. Then again, the likelihood of a police visit would still be the same whether it was a picture from Easter or St. Patrick’s Day or Toyotathon. The cops have reportedly visited Jenelle and David a lot.
There was a rumor that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their fourth child/Instagram accessory Bear West, which isn’t a terrible name since it sounds like the second largest bear party held in Palm Springs. But because “Bear West” isn’t pretentiously dumb enough to make everyone roll their eyes out of their sockets, and because Kanye West wants to continue his transformation into psycho religious cult leader, they have gone with: Psalm West. “That’s psalm psad and pstupid pshit!” is probably what God shouted in heaven.
And you may not have read what their newest baby’s name is since your soul got sucked into Kim’s red latex kamel toe of destruction. Consider yourself lucky.
If you thought that Duchess Meghan and Prince Hot Ginge naming their son Archie and not giving him a title was cruel and usual punishment, then stop it, he’s a royal, will never have to worry about a negative bank account balance, and can ask his cousin, Future King George, to send any bitches to the guillotine for making fun of him. Besides, you should really direct your sympathy to Amy Schumer’s son, because no amount of Rectiv ointment is going to heal him of the pain he’ll suffer through when he realizes what his alleged name is. That’s if his mom isn’t fucking with us.
The New York Daily News is reporting that humanity is still out here proving that we’re hands-down the worst species on the planet. YouTube couple, Cole and Savannah LaBrant, are getting some shit for doing what YouTubers do: act a mess for attention and $$$$. It all started because of what they thought was a harmless prank for April Fool’s Day. A bit of a funny jest to play on their children and record it for the amusement of their 8.7 million (Really guys? You don’t have families of your own to pay attention to? Or…?) followers. But it took a hard turn pretty fast and went from fun familial jokestering to potentially traumatic.
Earlier this month, bad parenting got a new poster boy in Ray Donovan actor Marion “Pooch” Hall, after he allegedly got drunk and let his 2-year-old son drive him home, rather than, oh I don’t know, literally ANYTHING ELSE besides letting a toddler drive. Pooch was arrested for DUI and felony child endangerment. TMZ says that Pooch has recently been formally charged for that night, and he’s looking at a felony child abuse charge.