Once again, it’s taking every bone in my body to keep from making a “Cuba Gooding Jr? More like Cuba Bad-ing Jr” joke. Because Cuba Gooding Jr. is back in the news, and of course there isn’t anything good about it. 30 women have accused Cuba of varying degrees of sexual misconduct and assault. And to make this reality even worse (in 2020, are we surprised?), Cuba’s lawyer has accused his accusers of being “delusional,” due to them allegedly having small breasts.
Last month, it was reported that the inmates of the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn were growing very tired of the special treatment that was being given to inmate #666 (just a random guess), Ghislaine Maxwell. Sources alleged that Ghislaine was given an entire floor of the MDC to herself, which was definitely a precaution against any attempts on Ghislaine’s life (Ghislaine’s alleged partner in crime Jeffrey Epstein died under suspicious circumstances when he was held last year at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Lower Manhattan). Those inmates now have one more thing to complain about, because Ghislaine’s attorneys have just filed a request that poor lonely Ghislaine be given the chance to finally mingle with everyone else in gen-pop.
That headline immediately made me think of 4 Non Blondes, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end. This story is about actual blondes who Prince Andrew was allegedly seen having an alleged clandestine dinner in Manhattan years ago. And who was allegedly joining Andrew at dinner? Oh, just allegedly Ghislaine Maxwell.
Myka Stauffer Is Back To Apologize For Rehoming Her Autistic Son, Explaining How Hard It Was For HER
Myka Stauffer, the YouTuber who “rehomed” her adopted child like he was a puppy who wouldn’t stop peeing on her bed, is back to cry about how hard that situation was for her. In case you thought that a person who would go through a public adoption process to earn fame and money and then get rid of that same kid in secret couldn’t get less likable, she absolutely can–and did.
In January 2019, The Atlantic published an exposé on 54-year-old director Bryan Singer, which basically informed anyone not familiar with the longstanding rumors, that Bryan Singer is a lover of pool parties and underage boys. Not long after, Bryan’s Red Sonja remake got shelved indefinitely, and it was revealed a few months later that Red Sonja was going ahead, just not with him directing it. So what’s the disgraced Hollywood director been up to since? According to YouTuber and influencer Elijah Daniel, Bryan has been up to the same old creepy tricks since being forced into semi-retirement.
When we last left the chunky diarrhea puddle of a messy legal fight between Johnny Depp and his ex-wife Amber Heard, a 911 call was released of Amber’s friend telling authorities that Johnny was attacking Amber. Since then, Amber’s legal team (which included #MeToo co-founder Roberta Kaplan) have left the case, saying that they still believe her but that travel and logistics in the time of COVID-19 became tricky and expensive so it was better for Amber to be represented by a legal team based in Virginia. Johnny filed a $50 million defamation lawsuit against Amber after she accused him (but didn’t name him) of abusing her in an op-ed piece for The Washington Post. Johnny filed the lawsuit in Virginia because that’s where The Washington Post is based.
Well, now Cara Delevingne has been dragged into this wreck because it’s been claimed in a deposition that she had a threeway with Amber and Elon Musk in 2016. Why did I just picture Elon Musk getting spit-roasted with Space(se)X-brand cyborg strap-ons? But according to Elon, that cursed image is only a product of my gutter sludge brain because he never had a threesome with Amber and Cara.