And the everlasting cycle continues, because it’s time for Denise Richards to fight with Charlie Sheen over child support. While just last year Charlie was telling us all how broke he was and how he couldn’t afford the measly $20,000 a month Denise was getting for their daughters, Sam and Lola, it seems Denise thinks that he’s just lying and is in fact hiding money from her. And guess what? She’s coming to collect.
Denise Richards could definitely write a book with all the stories she has about Charlie Sheen. But this is 2019 – why write a book when you can spill it all on episodes of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Denise recently told a story about one Thanksgiving where her ex showed up with a surprise plus-one sitting in the passenger seat of his car.
Charlie Sheen will go down in history as being a human public service announcement for why you shouldn’t blow all your money on porn stars and blow. Charlie has been involved in some serious financial fuckery as of late and is being chased by the scariest man any rich person could fear: The Taxman. Charlie is trying his hardest to pay back all the money he owes the government but it’s a bit tough when he doesn’t have many coins coming in.
Denise Richards is getting married today in Malibu and it’s been reported by Us Weekly that Charlie Sheen is invited. There are no promises, I’m just saying that there could be reports of tiger blood shed or a menagerie of “goddesses” creating a champagne and canapé shortage at the reception before jumping into the pool. There may or may not be a drug dealer arrested lurking around the valet booth, and we might be able to see video footage of Charlie grabbing the mic off of a bridesmaid for an impromptu wedding speech. In other words, Denise Richards is getting married to Aaron Phypers today, and it could be the greatest wedding of this century.
Today in Broke Celebrity News, Charlie Sheen is claiming he is too poor to handle paying child support to both his exes, Denise Richards and Brooke Mueller. The Blast reports that Charlie filed some requests with the court system to adjust his child support payments, saying his finances are no longer insanely stuffed to the brim and he can no longer afford his children. This is why we need Sex Ed; too many washed up stars end up broke paying for child support. Who’s looking after these people? There oughta be some kind of program to help these men out.
Charlie Sheen’s hand gesture can be read in so many ways. Like an “ok” sign, as in “my current tax situation is the opposite of this,” or the number three, as in the number of IRS agents who call his house on any given day demanding to know where Uncle Sam’s money is. Either way, Charlie Sheen is on the IRS’ shit list.
According to The Blast, Charlie owes $4,967,376.41 in taxes from 2015. That wasn’t such a great year for Charlie; 2015 was also the year Charlie disclosed his status as HIV-positive. What kind of work was Charlie doing to rack up almost $5 million, which I bet is mostly interest and fines, in taxes? Anger Management ran from 2012-2014, and his 9/11 movie didn’t come out and bomb in theaters until 2017. Maybe all that money is what he owes on his Two and a Half Men residuals from the reruns that air all the time.
As for how or if Charlie is going to pay, I suppose he could use some of the money he’ll get if his $10 million Beverly Hills mansion ever sells.
All I know for sure is that Tori Spelling is probably smiling bigger than the average dental bus bench ad, because Charlie Sheen’s tax woes are nowhere close to hers. She only owed a couple hundred thousands dollars. Honestly, she should keep this information in her back pocket for the next time the IRS calls. “Okay yes I owe you tons of money, but if you think about it this way, I’m basically 1/8th of a Charlie Sheen, so….”