If Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged partner in demonic abuse (the word alleged is looking at me like, “Bitch, you know you didn’t need to use us there.“), was hoping to spend her Fourth of July weekend taking in some In-N-Out and sweet freedom, the FBI knocked that Double Double right out of her hands and put handcuffs on her paws. Because Ghislaine Maxwell has finally been arrested by the FBI.
Well, that escalated quickly. Mikaela Spielberg, the daughter of Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw, had already been making headlines this year for revealing that she was going into porn. Since then, the tables seem to have turned. And not in her favor.
According to People, 24-year-old Mikaela, who lives in Tennessee, was picked up at 6:30am yesterday by Nashville police for an alleged altercation between her and her 47-year-old fiancé, professional darts player, Chuck Pankow. Mikaela was admitted into the Hill Detention Center and placed on a 12-hour hold, despite already posting bond.
It’s Fire Drill Friday, which always sounds to me like a promotion put on by a club called The Brass Pole, where firefighters get in free before 11. That’s of course not what it is. Fire Drill Friday was created by Jane Fonda, who was inspired by TIME Person of the Year Greta Thunberg, to protest in Washington, D.C. every Friday in the name of climate change. But a side effect of her protest is seeing which famous person might get taken away in zip-ties at the end of the day. Today that was Joaquin Phoenix.
In one of the only Sam Hunt songs I know, Body Like A Back Road, he croons out the lyric, “I know every curve like the back of my hand.” But in real-life, Sam Hunt doesn’t know every curve of the streets in Nashville, because he drove the wrong way down one. Or least I should say he doesn’t know every curve while Budweiser is his co-pilot. Because country singer Sam Hunt was arrested for allegedly driving while twenty shades of drunk.
Jane Fonda is THAT bitch. 81-year-old Jane could be chilling on some villa or dating some hot 20-year-old plaything like the boys do, but what is she doing? Picking up and moving to Washington D.C. so that she can protest climate policies of the American government. And get arrested (in Carmen Sandiego meets Talbots chic) while doing so.
Jane is now on her fourth arrest and actually spent her first night in jail. If that isn’t the most badass old-lady I’ve ever seen in my whole damn life… Book Club 2 is about to be edgy as hell.
According to TMZ, Jared Padalecki, who Supernatural fans know as demon-hunter Sam Winchester and Gilmore Girls fans know as Rory’s jealous dickbag boyfriend Dean, didn’t have a great weekend. But even without TMZ’s reporting, we probably could have pieced two and two together, thanks to that mug shot.