Many have a microwave bag of popcorn in their kitchen cabinet marked “Reserved For The Fall Of The Duggars,” and well, you may soon be able to pull that out, pop it, season it with some holy water and frankincense, and toss satisfying kernel after satisfying kernel into your mouth while watching the Duggars get theirs. Because there’s several reports claiming that Homeland Security raided the Duggar’s compound in Tontitown, Arkansas over the weekend, and a rep for HSI confirmed that they were there as part of an ongoing federal criminal investigation. But since the Duggar’s First Commandment is Thou Shalt Lie To Save Face, they are clutching their version of the bible (read: bank records and legal documents they probably don’t want the feds to see) all surprised-like at this “fake news.”
When KNWA heard that agents from Homeland Security (who pretty much investigate everything from human trafficking to money schemes to cyber crimes to immigration fraud) paid a visit to the Duggars, they asked a rep for confirmation and that’s what the rep gave them.
“[I do not dispute the information that] HSI was present there [Duggar home] pursuant to an on-going federal criminal investigation.”
There was also a rumor that child-touching rotten potato from Hell, 31-year-old Josh Duggar, is the subject of a federal investigation possibly involving child porn, tax evasion, and/or money laundering, and agents raided his business. One FBI agent told Radar that they were not at a Duggar house or business. But when KFSM asked a Homeland Security investigator about the rumor that Josh Duggar’s business in Northwest Arkansas was raided, they didn’t deny it.
News about a Duggar possibly being investigated for some criminal shadiness wouldn’t exactly cause an ounce of shock to form in any of us, but apparently, Michelle Duggar done dropped her tater tot casserole in surprise. Because according to a statement from Go-Between Of Duggars (since only GOD speaks for them, bitch!), they have not been “raided” by the feds. And as far as they know, no member of their family is under investigation. Cut to Josh Duggar furiously shredding documents before hiding his laptops in a place no one will ever dare to look (under a pile of his nudes).
“We were shocked to see a news report today state that our home was raided by federal law enforcement agencies. This is not true. To the best of our knowledge, it’s also not true that any member of our family is the target of any investigation of any kind.
Living a life in the public’s eye has taught us that it is best not to reply to every rumor and piece of ‘fake news’ that is circulated online. It would be a full-time job if we attempted to do so. However, because of tonight’s media coverage we thought it is important to address this rumor with you. Thank you for the love and support that we can always count on in you our fans and friends.”
Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar’s 20-year-old son Jedidiah Duggar, who is running for Arkansas State Representative, obviously wants nothing to do with this, because he distanced himself by saying:
“I don’t live there, and I am not aware of any investigation.”
Jedidiah really doesn’t want this kind of scandal tarnishing his otherwise pristine family name.
Josh Duggar, who is expecting his sixth kid any day now, is currently in the middle of a real estate lawsuit and has been accused of stealing a property right from under a dude. That case is going to trial in April 2020.
Because this is the Duggars we’re talking about, the alleged investigation could be about anything. It could very well involve the Prince Andrew of the Duggars (Josh Duggar), or it could be about their shady “charity” MEDIC Corps. Or maybe Homeland Security is working with the Environmental Protection Agency to take down Michelle Duggar for her assault on the ozone layer from the years and years that she used hundreds, if not thousands, of cans of aerosol hairspray to keep her crunchy hair dome of dark-sided secrets intact.