Category: Child Army

Angelina Jolie Brought The Kids To The “Dumbo” Premiere

March 12, 2019 / Posted by:

For the Jolie-Pitts, nothing puts the “f”s in “family fun” quite like “forced foto-ops” on the red carpet for a kids movie with mom. Angelina Jolie unplugged the X-Box mid-Fortnite Battle Royale and told all them kids to go put on their outside clothes for the Hollywood premiere of Tim Burton’s Dumbo. Here’s the twist: They had fun.

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So I Guess Angelina Jolie Really Is Broke!!!

January 25, 2019 / Posted by:

The petty and ugly (pegly?) custody battle between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt finally came to an end, for now, last month. But before the pile of broken glass from the fallen Brangelina crystal kingdom gets swept into the dust bin forever (aka their divorce is finalized), they have to figure out other shit, like money. It was rumored that Angie, whose net worth is $160 million according to the internet, wanted money from Brad, whose net worth is $240 million according to the internet, because she’s having cash issues. Team Brad and everyone else laughed at Angie smearing dirt on her face and shaking wooden coins out of her Louis Vuitton change purse, but maybe she really is broke. I mean, she was spotted trying to make ends meet by selling dog treats at a dog park! Okay, her kids were selling the treats, and it was for a dog charity, but let’s go with it anyway.

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Hugh Grant Is Quietly Forming His Own Child Army

January 9, 2018 / Posted by:

People reports 57-year-old Hugh Grant is going to be a dad for the fifth time. Hugh’s latest kid will be his third with his 35-year-old girlfriend and Swedish television producer Anna Eberstein. The two already have a two-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son. BUT…it’s not as simple as that.

In case you forget, Hugh had a “fleeting affair” with Tinglan Hong. They had a daughter in 2011, but Hugh and Tinglan didn’t pan out. Hugh met Anna, and had their son in 2012. He then got together again with Tinglan (everyone loves a throwback!) in 2013 and had another son. He went back with Anna and then had their now-two-year-old. And now comes baby number five.

The new pregnancy was basically confirmed when Anna and Hugh were spotted in the airport in New York, and there was a baby bump peeking through her coat. You can kinda tell she has one in the photo of them together above at the Golden Globes, probably the best night to hide a pregnancy since everyone was in black and had better things to focus on than mani-cams and “baby bumps.” Her mother apparently blabbed to a Swedish magazine, “She’s due rather soon.” Let’s hope it’s another girl! There aren’t enough lady Grants in the world who can wear Godmummy Elizabeth Hurley’s safety pin dress into child army battle!



Angelina Jolie Managed To Wrangle Everyone Together For The NYC Premiere Of Her Movie

September 15, 2017 / Posted by:

Earlier this week, Angelina Jolie went to Toronto and premiered First The Killed My Father, a film written/directed/produced by the award-winning director of Unbroken. Angelina’s life post-Brad Pitt has sort of been all about the kids, so she gathered them all together, threw them in a pile of fancy-ish kids clothes, and brought them all to the premiere. She repeated that again last night for the NYC premiere.

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Angelina Jolie Brought All The Kids Out For Her TIFF Premiere

September 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Ah, they’re all there. Vivienne, Maddox, Pax, Shiloh, Knox, Zahara, Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby, Cindy, and Alice. The whole gang!

That picture is a bit like a “Spot What’s Wrong” puzzle, since there definitely appears to be more members of the child army than usual. No, Angelina Jolie hasn’t adopted any new kids; those are some of the stars of her film First They Killed My Father (aka The PR Disaster Artist). Angelina and her crew all showed up for the premiere of FTKMF at the Toronto International Film Festival yesterday. Angelina brought four of her six kids to the premiere of The Breadwinner the day before, but that was just a movie she produced. FTKMF is a film by Angelina Jolie. You know, the award-winning director of Unbroken? Sorry, Brad, but this is the kind of big deal film premiere that requires the participation of all members of the child army.

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