It would appear that the word “cucumber” isn’t the only thing out of Hilaria Baldwin can’t quite grasp. She’s also losing social media sponsored content paychecks now too. Much like the information of her birthplace disappearing from her agent’s website, Page Six is now reporting that one of Hilaria’s Instagram partnerships has disappeared in the wake of her identity scandal.
As Hilaria Baldwin and her freakishly flexible, yoga-toned feet endeavor to feverishly back-pedal their way to her original Boston birth certificate while keeping her ragey husband Alec Baldwin from self-combusting; the tale of her faux Spanish accent and heritage continues to be the regalo that keeps on giving. The previous installment in Hilaria-Hilary’s train wreck of a damage-control tour had her nervously bleating more rounds of further-eroding WTF to The New York Times.
Today’s stocking-stuffer is from Page Six, and offers up the time Hilaria was perplexed about how to write her own name on a tax doc, which was nestled in another layer of mess in the form of a lawsuit against her yoga studio back in 2013:
It seems being married to Alec Baldwin actually has some advantages! In addition to being more than generous with what Hilaira Baldwin likes to call his “esperma,” Alec it would seem, also has a direct line to The New York Times. A boon should you ever find yourself in a predicament where your integrity is being challenged to have unfettered access to the paper of record to clear your name. Regretfully, for her (but delightfully for us), a further attempt to clear things up by subjecting herself to an interview in the NYT only made things worse. Hilaria really fucked herself with a pepino this time. And pepinos don’t even contain any esperma!
Hilaria Baldwin’s City Of Birth Has Been Removed From Her CAA Bio And Alec Baldwin Defended Her Again On Instagram
Last week we experienced The Great Conjunction in which the planet Jupiter threw a little shade Saturn’s way, but that little astrological side-show was nothing compared to Page Six busting out the shadiest of “neés” when referring to Alec Baldwin’s wife as Hilaria “(neé Hillary)” Baldwin like she’s making her society debut in the pages of the New York Times wedding announcements. Page Six reports that Alec continues to defend his Shady Dame From Seville against charges that she has been pretending to be Spanish by feigning a Spanish accent and falsely suggesting (or allowing it to be suggested) that she was born in Mallorca instead of in the backseat of a cah pahked on Hahvard yahd.
Hilaria Baldwin Is Taking A Break From Social Media, While Alec Baldwin Swears Vengeance On Her Haters
As everyone knows by now, Hilaria Baldwin, a vaguely-accented Spanish yoga instructor and Alec Baldwin’s wife, was revealed to actually be Hillary Hayward-Thomas of Boston, Massachusetts. Hilaria responded to the online chatter, by saying that she never actually claimed to have been born in Spain, but that she was raised equally in Boston and Spain, is a “white girl,” and that sometimes her speech is messy because she’s bilingual and has a hard time speaking clearly. Her explanation was almost as dubious as her accent, but she’s leaving it at that for now, because she’s taking a break from social media.
For the moment, there are more questions than answers here, nothing is etched in stone in any direction and we’re all just scratching our heads and offering up side-eyes, so make sure you’ve got your grain of salt handy before we proceed. Every now and then, speculation gleefully flings itself into various social media sites regarding the true nationality of 36-year-old Hilaria Baldwin, wife of 62-year-old Alec Baldwin, mother of a yoga-facilitated bevy of five children, and performer of exceptionally stretchy acrobatics in odd locations.
This whole issue is basically the Obama birther scandal, but with Downward Dog and a shady Spanish accent. Mamamia notes that this latest round of suspicion arrives on the heels of a humorous-but-maybe-slightly-body-shaming Instagram exchange the other day between Hilaria and fellow post-partum mom, Amy Schumer, in the form of a Twitter thread loaded with comments and videos suggesting that Hilaria is just plain vanilla Hilary from Boston, dun dun dun. ¡Escándalo! And Hilaria has popped up today to try to clear things up, but she didn’t do a yoga pose while doing that, so does it really count?!