Now that Lionel Richie has solidified his place in history with his cringeworthy performance at King Charles‘ coronation concert many have one question rattling inside their brains; what the fuck happened to his face? Of course, most of us stateside citizens have seen this new version of Lionel for the past few years, and we’re convinced his ageless appearance was crafted under the knife of a plastic surgeon. However, Lionel wants all the old-faced haters to know he would NEVER use plastic surgery to fight off the ravages of time. Instead, Lionel claims the reason why he has an entirely new face is because of water, rest, and lots of sweaty sex.

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More news about Milo Yiannopoulos is here–the new “director of political operations” (according to him) of Kanye West‘s yet-to-be-announced 2024 Presidential campaign is already making some headlines for a screw-up. Milo worked on Kanye’s campaign last year but was fired. And this latest screw-up reportedly happened when he was working for Kanye the first time around. You see, back in 2022, when this latest campaign was just another tiny seed of evil growing in the dark, Milo created a website for Ye24.com, but oddly enough, he used Republican representative and January 6th downplayer Marjorie Taylor Greene‘s credit card to do so. Bitch, what? Did this break the law? Maybe, but Milo swears it was an honest mistake made by someone else, and it has been corrected. Well, at least we know that, unlike his first one, this 2024 campaign of Kanye’s is really authentic and won’t be run by Republican operatives. OH, WAIT JUST A SECOND! It seems like it is!

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Another day, another celebrity talking about their persona of being  “nice.” Yesterday, Tom Hanks said that he’s not a 24/7 nice guy and has acted like an asshole on-set before. “You don’t say?!” said Henry Winkler. And now, wholesome star of Capital One commercials, Neutrogena ads, and a dozen movies where she plays the nice mom, Jennifer Garner, is talking about her “nice” person. In a world where celebrities get revenge on their exes on Instagram, by placing witches on balconies or releasing threatening claymation videos, Jennifer stays supportive of ex-husband Ben Affleck and says shit like she’s “happy” for him. But despite having a heart of gold so pure she could trade it in for cash, Jen says there’s a downside to being seen as “nice.”

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Shakira‘s been on a wild ride for a beat now. Her estranged husband Gerard Piqué put her in a jam–and his lovah, Clara Chia Marti, dipped into Shakira’s favorite jam–while he passed his peen to Clara in his marital home when Shakira was away; and, the Spanish tax man still calleth. And Tom Cruise is, ya know, Tom Cruise. He’s still culty and an allegedly emotionally neglectful deadbeat dad; but hey, he’s still doing many of his own stunts and drawing traffic into the box office. His latest stunt? Allegedly hoping to shoot his shot for an exciting new arrangement relationship with Shakira after they were photographed together at a Formula 1 race this past weekend.

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When Dolly Parton finally accepted her induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (after initially turning it down because she didn’t think she was “rock), she promised to make an entire rock album. Dolly wasn’t telling lies because her rock album, titled Rockstar, will drop into earholes this November. Dolly released the album’s four covers (which are all a billion times edgier and more hardcore than biting the head off a bat) and the 30-song tracklist. The 30 tracks are made up of mostly covers and some original songs and feature collabs with EVERYONE, including Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Sting, Stevie Nicks, Pat Benatar, Peter Frampton, Mick Fleetwood, Joan Jett, Brandi Carlile, Elton John, Linda Perry, Debbie Harry, Melissa Etheridge, Lizzo, Miley Cyrus, Simon Le Bon, and more! And because I guess Dolly feels like every rocker needs to dip into the dark side a bit, she does a duet with K*d R*ck.  Well, that duet is for you if you ever wanted to know what the delicate yodel of an angel (Dolly) sounds like when paired with the sound of a long wet hillbilly fart ( K*d R*ck) – Uproxx

Meanwhile, at The Little Mermaid premiere in Hollywood last night, Melissa McCarthy served up some “Violet Beauregarde as a socialite memaw” messiness while Halle Bailey put all her chichis’ trust into her sparkly ocean waves gown – Lainey Gossip

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