Retired 35-year-old footballer, Gerard Piqué, has been publicly dating his one-time side piece, 23-year-old PR-type Clara Chia, since a few weeks after he and 47-year-old Shakira broke up. They announced their breakup in June 2022 after having been together 12 years, and then in August, Gerard was seen making out with Clara at a concert in Spain. And a few weeks after that, Clara went with him to a wedding in Catalonia. Well, now he’s taking her to Instagram, as the couple has gone social media official, and the comments section is open!–albeit mostly in Spanish.
I’m just going to assume someone else has already made a The Jam Don’t Lie joke instead, as I report that Shakira supposedly found out that her partner was cheating on her after noticing someone had been dipping into her strawberry jam while she was away. And he don’t eat jam. Detective La Toya better start using that XXL magnifying glass to examine the Help Wanted section because Shakira has stolen her gig. Not only that, Hercule Perot, Miss Marple, Benoit Blanc, Sherlock Holmes, Jessica Fletcher, Bunk & McNutty, Martha Stewart, and Bonne Maman were all found dead with a crinkled-up note on their chests with the words “The Jam Don’t Lie” written in lipstick, signed “Detective Shakira.”
Shakira Placed A Witch On Her Balcony Facing The Home Of Gerard Pique’s Mother And He Responded To Her Diss Track
Shakira has faced some difficulties over the last year or so. The Spanish government is after her money, and she split from her partner of 12 years, footballer Gerard Pique. She’s been fairly quiet throughout the process (well aside from telling the Spanish tax man to fuck off) until now. The songstress has yodeled her angriest yodel in a diss track against Pique, and she even shaded his mother with a bruja on the balcony. It’s time for the return of dark-haired, rocker Shakira!
Shakira Is Devastated That Her Ex Gerard Pique’s Side Piece Was In Her House While They Were Still Together
Shakira’s 2022 woes have continued into 2023. She’s still dealing with Spain’s supposed “smear campaign” regarding her tax-paying ability (or lack thereof) and recovering from her split from Gerard Pique. She’s talked about moving on from the relationship, even contemplating moving away from Spain to the Bahamas to Miami. There’s been no mention of a hot new man, so she has yet to get into that phase of the breakup. Pique, however, has been ready to move on. He was so ready, in fact, that he brought his new girlfriend, Clara Chia Marti, to his and Shakira’s house while the couple was still living together!
Shakira Claims That She’s A Victim Of A Smear Campaign And Has Proof Of Her Innocence In Spanish Tax Case
Shakira has been dealing with some tax problems for a few years now after the Spanish government came after her for unpaid taxes. The case will go to trial, and Shakira could face up to 8 years in prison if she’s convicted. In the October issue of Elle, Shakira denied any wrongdoing and said that she’s paid everything the Spanish government claims she owes, and yet they’re still coming after her. Now, she’s filed documents against the Spanish prosecutors once again affirming her innocence and saying that they’re trying to smear her. Hmm, that explains the boars. The government paid those wild boars to fuck with her.
A lot of people who’ve had a year like Shakira has might be locked in their room in a cocoon of sadness on day fifty-leven of unwashed hair with no recollection of when their last dalliance with the sunlight was. But Shakira–fresh out of her relationship with longtime partner and father of her two children, Gerard Piqué, and on the edge of a fight with the Spanish government over taxes she allegedly owes–instead opted to rally (I’m sure a Xena Warrior Princess-style yodel happened somewhere) and (kind of) answer tough questions in an interview for the October digital issue of ELLE.