And Our Hot Slut Of 2022 Is…
After 12 Hot Slut of the Months battled it out in four rounds and BILLION of votes were cast (don’t fact-check me on that), we finally have a new reigning Hot Slut of the Year! The final round came down to serene legend The Calm Librarian, lounging legend Freya, and breakfast place badass legend Waffle House Wendy. Without further nail-biting ado, let’s get to who is the real Hot Slut sweetheart of Dlisted is on this Valentine’s Day.
Open Post: Hosted By Nick Cannon’s Spoof Christian Mingle Ad For Valentine’s Day
Ladies, if you’re ever on a dating app and see world re-population pioneer Nick Cannon as one of its users, delete the app as quickly as possible. Because once Nick’s super sperm takes your ovaries hostage, you’ll not only be forced to carry one of his children you will also be subjected to him telling you corny dad jokes for the rest of your life. If you need an example of how miserable you’ll be once that happens, Nick posted a cringeworthy Valentine’s Day video where he’s ready to terrorize the pious and holy single ladies of Christian Mingle. Not only by threatening to join but also by literally telling his future seed incubators how horribly he will treat them once he drops that dick on ’em.
Eric André Posted Naked Photos Of Him And Emily Ratajkowski For Valentine’s Day
Comedian Eric André is the latest famous-type to get involved with Emily Ratajkowski, who’s been in her “romantically prolific” period since splitting with her pumpkin eater husband, Sebastian Bear-McClard, back in July. Early last month, 31-year-old Emily and 39-year-old Eric were papped on a dinner date. A couple of weeks later, they were spotted making out on vacation in the Cayman Islands. Now Valentine’s Day has rolled around, and Page Six reports these two are still going strong! Eric proved this by posting pre-Valentine’s photos of him and Emily relaxing at home in the buff. Huh. I give them two more weeks. Continue reading
BREAKING: Jessica Simpson Shared A Picture Of Herself Peeing Outside
Between her 2020 memoir, Open Book, and her recent short story about one of her ancient Hollywood hookups, it seems like Jessica Simpson has hit the stretch of her long career where she’s decidedly ready just to let it all hang out. And in that vein, she also decided to prove that she’s still the silliest goose at church camp by posting a picture on Instagram of her draining the main (lady)vein in the grass in the middle of an outdoor photoshoot set. Maybe “outdoor pisser” was one of the line items on publicists’ “don’t date Jessica Simpson” client guidelines? Though neither Jessica’s crotch nor urine was visible in her post, as per usual, the internet had thoughts.
Robin Wright Talked About Co-Parenting With Sean Penn And Nepotism In Front Of Her Adult Son Hopper Penn
Let’s say you have two parents. One is a beautiful, glamorous actress who seems like she’s got her shit together, and the other one drinks Ambien and vodka shakes for breakfast and tried to name you Steak after his favorite food. I’d imagine that the latter parent would be the more embarrassing of the two. But for 29-year-old Hopper Penn, spawn of Robin Wright and Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelenskyy’s most annoying pen pal, Sean Penn, mom is probably the most embarrassing.
Tom Cruise Made An Appearance At Yesterday’s Oscars Nominee Luncheon
Last year Tom Cruise jumped out of airplanes and took on a clandestine mission to become best friends with Queen Elizabeth before her passing, which simply proves he loves to live on THE EDGE! And one of the best ways to do that, especially as an actor, is to debut a brand new look that will make everyone wonder, “Hmmm, there’s something different about you. Are you on Ozempic?” This is what Page Six says happened to Tom Cruise at yesterday’s Oscar nominees luncheon, which he attended to support Top Gun: Maverick.