And Our Hot Slut Of 2022 Is…

After 12 Hot Slut of the Months battled it out in four rounds and BILLION of votes were cast (don’t fact-check me on that), we finally have a new reigning Hot Slut of the Year! The final round came down to serene legend The Calm Librarian, lounging legend Freya, and breakfast place badass legend Waffle House Wendy. Without further nail-biting ado, let’s get to who is the real Hot Slut sweetheart of Dlisted is on this Valentine’s Day.

Coming in at third place with 27% of the votes is The Calm Librarian, the pillar of IDGAF wrapped in calmness who remained unbothered as an anti-masker prolapsed with anger over her Illinois library’s mask policy. Here she is thinking to herself whatever the Midwest version of “Bless your heart” is:

In second place with 33% of your votes is Waffle House Wendy, the (former) employee of a Waffle House in Austin, TX, who became my favorite playable fighter in the real-life video game that was Waffle House Figh Club when she caught a chair thrown at her during a big ole’ tussle.

Waffle House Wendy will assume the title of Hot Slut of the Year if the winner’s crown is taken away for whatever reason (example reason: old tweets resurface containing something truly offensive like, “Phoebe Price is not the most gorgeous and glamorous being in the universe.”).

And that means our Hot Slut of 2022 is the one and only:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FREYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Freya, the walrus who took Norway by storm last summer by lounging and sinking their ships, is now Hot Slut of 2022 after getting 40% of your votes. Sadly, Freya is our first posthumous Hot Slut of the Year winner ever since dead-hearted officials sent her off to heaven after declaring that she was a “threat” to human safety since her star power brought in big crowds. Well, as Freya’s star power brings in even bigger crowds of angels in heaven, she’ll have another crown to wear on her head since she’s now the Queen of Hot Sluts. And she’s the first animal HSOTY winner since STAINS in 2010.

Freya now joins the top tier of elite Hot Sluts that includes The Beauty School Husband, Leslie Jordan, Tanqueray, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Winona Ryder’s Many Faces, Ana Navarro, Eugene Bostick, STAINS, Spaghetti Cat, Phoebe Price, and  Bai Ling.

Thank you to everyone who voted and who dropped a Hot Slut of the Day suggestion in my inbox in 2022. Now, let’s all bow down to our new Hot Slut Ruler, Freya!

Pics: Twitter, Twitter, YouTube, Tor Erik Schrøder/NTB Scanpix via AP