Blind Item Time: Jessica Simpson Wrote A Short Story About Being Seduced By A Famous Actor Who Wasn’t Single Back In The Day

February 2, 2023 / Posted by:

Though Jessica Simpson was widely considered “the dumb one” when it came to female pop stars of the early aughts, she’s evolved into a best-selling wordsmith (with an assist from a ghostwriter, of course) and successful businesswoman. But Jessica must’ve recently either gotten bored with making the populace uncomfortable with her Pottery Barn Kids ads or she’s in the market for more money and/or attention; because she just released a short story taken from one of her journals of long ago about the time a major movie star pursued her back in 2001. Disappointingly, she didn’t name any names, but she recalled feeling like a hooker (and I’m guessing not the wholesome, rom-com Pretty Woman kind) before ending the affair.

Movie Star was released on Amazon Original Stories yesterday. Jessica recounted meeting a major Hollywood heartthrob at the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards, and he basically eye-fucked her as they exchanged pleasantries. Jessica and Nick were on a break at the time. via People:

I turned to see the packed crowd somehow parting as a massive movie star walked toward us in jeans and a T-shirt. My bodyguard had said they were friends, but I’d wondered if he had maybe been exaggerating. Judging by the clenched handshake bro hug, the love was real.

“This is Jessica,” my bodyguard said.

“I know,” said the Movie Star. He gave me a different hug; a modified celebrity embrace he held a few seconds longer than I expected. As our mutual friend, my bodyguard talked, this megastar, who I grew up thinking was so hot, eyeballed me up and down. Like he was undressing me with his eyes, which was fine because I had plenty of reasons to ditch that outfit and change.

Movie Star started on small talk, and as he leaned in, I had the presence of mind to know, Oh, this is what it’s like to be hit on. Because, other than my ex-boyfriend, no man had ever been so upfront about looking at me in a provocative way. At least that I wanted to look at me that way. He placed a hand on my hip and leaned in so I could hear him better.

Only he talked even softer.

I felt a funny feeling. I watched his lips move, but the rest of the world was in a dreamy focus. I was a big reader to make up for dropping out of high school, so I had read enough of Jane Austen and the Brontë sisters to know what was happening. This wasn’t love, but it was something dreamy. This is what they talk about when they talk about swooning, I thought. This is one of those swoon moments.

This was different than the guilty butterflies that boys my age brought on when I thought something might be possible. This was real.

And I wasn’t ready. I fled Movie Star. I made some excuse and acted like Cinderella in bad booties. I wish I could say I was playing it cool. I later found out this was seen as “playing hard to get.”

Jessica writes that five days later, she got back with Nick, and they got married the next year. But after Jessica and Nick’s marriage went to the great big “Anal Seafood” in the sky, she and the actor got back in touch.

However, once Simpson and Lachey divorced, she reconnected with her mystery man, who allegedly first kissed her at the Beverly Hills Hilton.

“I felt this warm rush all the way down my body to the tips of my toes in my wedges,” the Open Book author wrote.

Tips of my toes in my wedges.” Ugh, just mail her the Pulitzer now. One small boner-kill, however: Jessica eventually found out that a man who lies for a living lied to her about already being in a relationship. He allayed her concerns, though, and the short affair continued. The yet-to-be-referred-to-as “Sexual Napalm” Jessica said she started to feel like the star might be using her, so she ended it.

Despite an intense first kiss, Simpson was heartbroken when saw red carpet pics of her supposed beau and his then-girlfriend.

“I was never ever in a million years going to be the other woman,” she claimed, asserting that the movie star told her their relationship was “completely over” and he was only interested in pursuing Simpson.

The twosome went on to embark on a whirlwind romance, attending events at nightclubs together and bonding over the birth of Simpson’s goddaughter. The fashion designer even visited her man on a movie set, however, that trip made her feel like she was only there to “have sex” with her famous fling.

“Yes, there was something sexy and enticing about all this, but there was also something demeaning about it. I felt like a call girl,” Simpson recalled in the passage, noting it felt like he was trying to “hide” her from his “chick.” She continued: “I didn’t care if he was my teenage fantasy come to life, this was not a choice that same girl, my younger self, would be proud of.”

Jessica promoted the release on her Instagram:

And she spoke to People about this very dreamlike period of her life and how it taught her that liars are gonna lie. And, shocker, some Hollywood-type men are sluts! 

“This is a very personal story and I really thought I would never share it!” Simpson tells PEOPLE. Writing it down, she says, brought back memories of her fast track to worldwide fame. “The whole period was very surreal,” she says. “There were times I had a lot of fun, don’t get me wrong! But a lot of the time it felt isolating because I am someone who likes to deeply connect with people and I didn’t know who was trustworthy and who was not.”

Looking back, she says, “I learned you can’t always take people at their very persuasive word — seems obvious but it really isn’t when you are dealing with someone who sells it so well.”

And she came away with a life lesson or two. “Not betraying your own heart and diminishing your self-worth actually feels so much better than immediate gratification if living in a lie,” she says. “I also learned that there is a wide range of what monogamy means in Hollywood!”

Girl, it is 2023; I’m going to need names. We’re getting old and being coy and discreet is so 2004. A lot of the internet has guessed Mark Wahlberg is the alleged movie star since he’s been in the game for a while, is kind of a prick, wore a t-shirt and jeans to the VMAs, and had just started dating his now-wife in 2001; but in these trying times I’m going to need it to have been someone really out-of-pocket to feel fulfilled. Give us Tom Selleck with a ball gag at the Roosevelt!

Pic: DARA KUSHNER/INSTARimages.com

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