Hopper Penn, Son Of Sean Penn And Robin Wright, Continues To Deny The That Nepotism Has Anything To Do With Him
Hopper Penn, perhaps best known for his role in 2018’s Hamilton County Jail, the reality show which earned $25,000 at the bond office, in which he played Sean Penn and Robin Wright’s son waiting to be bailed out on possession charges for weed, shrooms, and amphetamines, recently waded into the murky waters of the nepotism debate and, like a chicken with a thimble full of water, immediately drowned. During an E! News segment he did with his mom, while promoting his latest project, a movie produced by his mom in which his mom plays his mom, Hopper admitted that while “every movie I’ve done has been with a family member,” he doesn’t “think it’s nepotism.” Even though, as he himself admitted, he was “given the opportunity with almost no preparation,” and “it was able to kind of just fall into [his] lap,” as if by magic. But according to Deadline, after giving it a bit more thought, Hopper has come to the conclusion that he said what he said.
Robin Wright Talked About Co-Parenting With Sean Penn And Nepotism In Front Of Her Adult Son Hopper Penn
Let’s say you have two parents. One is a beautiful, glamorous actress who seems like she’s got her shit together, and the other one drinks Ambien and vodka shakes for breakfast and tried to name you Steak after his favorite food. I’d imagine that the latter parent would be the more embarrassing of the two. But for 29-year-old Hopper Penn, spawn of Robin Wright and Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelenskyy’s most annoying pen pal, Sean Penn, mom is probably the most embarrassing.
Don’t ever let anybody tell you that nepotism in Hollywood is a real issue. Sure, it happens on occasion that some son or daughter of a famous face lands a role based solely on their lineage. But even the staunchest nepo baby apologists, like Tom Hanks, can’t stop the robots from coming and stealing all the good nepo baby jobs from actual hard-working nepo babies. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Tom and his Forrest Gump Jenny, Robin Wright, have booked themselves another ride on the Robert Zemeckis Express to the Uncanny Valley for a movie called Here, in which Tom and Robin will be de-aged “using a new generative AI-driven tool dubbed Metaphysic Live.” And now, because of some computer’s ability to take magical bits and bites out of Tom’s face, his HUMAN BORN son Truman Hanks is out of a job. Can you believe they call this progress? I call it an aberration of the natural nepotistic order.
Having been married to one of the most noxious messes in Hollywood before co-starring with one of the creepiest messes in the game, it’s easy to see why Robin Wright would want to keep her personal life neat and tidy. It makes sense, she did use to be on soaps. Except for that one time she took the plastic off the sofa and let Vanity Fair sit down while she poured them a tepid cup of tea when she told them that her then on-again/off-again fiance Ben Foster made her love, laugh and cum more than ex-husband Sean Penn ever did, it’s probably safe to use the guest bathroom Robin’s house without worrying about lifting the lid and seeing a forgotten turd left unflushed. Back in 2018, Robin stealthily got married to smoking hot French fashion executive Clement Giraudet, and now, TMZ reports that she’s stealthily filed for divorce citing “irreconcilable differences” and is probably busy scrubbing every last trace of their lovemaking from every surface in her house (I hope she got it, girl!) and ordering new plastic covers for the furniture as we speak.
The memes are flying since W Magazine published its annual Best Performances issue featuring photographs taken by world-renowned photographer Juergen Teller, who, even though his aesthetic hasn’t really changed much since the 90s, has been getting roasted on Twitter for his crimes against glamour. But even though my arts education consists of one art history class taken at Laney Jr. College (B-, thank you very much. I know my columns), even I can tell that not just any asshole with an iPhone can be a great photographer. It takes a real visionary like Juergen to talk Robin Wright into squatting behind a tree in broad daylight. I mean, he did refuse to photograph Miley Cyrus so we know he has taste!
Here, just in time to ruin James Cameron’s Christmas, is the trailer for Wonder Woman 1984: Quest For The Crystal Butt-Plug starring Gal Gadot. Spoiler alert, Pedro Pascal has it! When he pulled that bad boy out of its cave (1:10), it’s literally the only thing I could think about for the duration of the trailer. In fact, I’m still thinking about it right now, and I’ll continue to think about it until the end of time. However, if Chris Pine’s reappearance as the previously deceased WWI soldier Steve Trevor is any indication, time may be a relative concept in this film. Plus the movie doesn’t come out until next summer, so me and my thoughts about the butt plug I have a long cold winter ahead of us.