Given that Kim Kardashian’s whole existence revolves around her unconditional, undying love for Kim Kardashian, I would’ve assumed that her sex den would look like a hall of mirrors with ring lights in every corner of the room, photos of her in every alcove, and a projection on the ceiling of “iconic” shots from Kim Kardashian, Superstar on loop. But as she and Kourtney Kardashian’s ex, Scott Disick, caught up about their adventures in singledom on a recent episode of The Kardashians, she revealed that she prefers to do the do in the darkness and is struggling with dating (ok, we get it) because she has to sneak around.
Between her 2020 memoir, Open Book, and her recent short story about one of her ancient Hollywood hookups, it seems like Jessica Simpson has hit the stretch of her long career where she’s decidedly ready just to let it all hang out. And in that vein, she also decided to prove that she’s still the silliest goose at church camp by posting a picture on Instagram of her draining the main (lady)vein in the grass in the middle of an outdoor photoshoot set. Maybe “outdoor pisser” was one of the line items on publicists’ “don’t date Jessica Simpson” client guidelines? Though neither Jessica’s crotch nor urine was visible in her post, as per usual, the internet had thoughts.
Chrissy Teigen Wanted To Know If Getting A Bikini Wax While Pregnant Was Way More Painful, So She Asked Twitter
As we know, Chrissy Teigen is pregnant again. Her and John Legend’s baby should be here any day now, and she must be bored, in need of attention, or a combination of the two; because she recently took a break from ripping off cake mixes to take to messy-ass Twitter to ask 12.9 million of her closest pals if getting her pregnant fur-burger waxed would hurt just a little bit worse than normal or excruciatingly worse. She got a mixed bag of answers–and I got a definitively icked bag of mental images.
Most people who are lucky enough to still have living grandparents honor them by not spitting out the purse-linty Starlight Mint that they forced into your mouth or refraining from popping off so hard their pacemaker skips when they mention that they liked that Trump “wasn’t a politician.” But if you’re a celebrity whose entire life is built upon that time you fucked someone and made sure the world got to see it, you bond with your grandmother by casually chatting about the setting of your sexcapades. On the most recent episode of The Kardashians on Hulu, Kim Kardashian and her grandmother, Mary Jo, “MJ” Shannon, had a jovial conversation about Kim and her most recent ex, Pete Davidson, banging fireside.
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher have been at the forefront of the “skanky relatable family” schtick ever since they revealed that they don’t bathe their kids unless they see dirt on them and Ashton only ever washes his pits and crotch. Try-hards Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard even jumped on the bandwagon and made it known that they don’t wash their kids until they stink. Well, it’s time for Mila and Ashton to double down on their grossness and begin the next conversation among odiferous people who can definitely access proper hygiene and etiquette yet still reject it. Mila says they have an “open-door policy” and keep all doors in their house open, even when they’re using the bathroom.
Ever wanted to know what it’s like to be one of the popular kids in high school? A recent Instagram story posted by recently single Olivia Munn gives us a glimpse of what it’s like to be on the cheer squad at Hollywood High (not the real one, the metaphoric one for the middle-aged, growth stunted actors) and have to try to convince your classmate that the rumors you are dating her ex are, like, totally bogus.