Category: Run Bitch Run

Open Post: Hosted By Nick Cannon’s Spoof Christian Mingle Ad For Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2023 / Posted by:

Ladies, if you’re ever on a dating app and see world re-population pioneer Nick Cannon as one of its users, delete the app as quickly as possible. Because once Nick’s super sperm takes your ovaries hostage, you’ll not only be forced to carry one of his children you will also be subjected to him telling you corny dad jokes for the rest of your life. If you need an example of how miserable you’ll be once that happens, Nick posted a cringeworthy Valentine’s Day video where he’s ready to terrorize the pious and holy single ladies of Christian Mingle. Not only by threatening to join but also by literally telling his future seed incubators how horribly he will treat them once he drops that dick on ’em.

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Kourtney Kardashian And Travis Barker Might Really Be A Thing (UPDATE)

January 24, 2021 / Posted by:

For the past few years, or so, there have been rumors that Travis Barker has really gone to the dark side by fucking on low-ranking Koven member Kourtney Kardashian. Travis pissed on those rumors (“Ugh, those rumors are so lucky!” – Kim) in 2019, saying that he loves Kourtney, but that they’re just friends and see each other at church. No, not the Church of Satan in Pimp Mama Kris’ basement where she holds sacrificial rituals to keep up her contract with Satan. And not that church PMK allegedly used as a tax haven. No, Kourtney and Travis know each other from Miami-based Vous church, which is connected to the Church of MESS known asĀ Hillsong.

But now there’s more talk that Kourtney and Travis are a thing because they spent some time together over the weekend at the Koven’s desert headquarters (read: PMK’s La Quinta, CA house).

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