Lily Allen’s new memoir, My Thoughts Exactly, goes on sale next week and it’s got the celebrity substance abuse sadness stories that are really the only reason to write a memoir. No one cares what elementary school you went to, but they do want to read about the time you were giving Orlando Bloom a lap dance at Kate Hudson’s 2014 Halloween party in L.A. and knocked yourself out cold after accidentally head-butting him. Yep, Lily did that. The Sun got a hold of an advance copy of Lily’s book and wrote about the time that she was in such bad shape that the consciously uncoupled Paltrow-Martins had to take her under their assuredly rare and overpriced wing.
Today, Kate Hudson announced on Instagram that she’s pregnant with a girl. 38-year-old Kate revealed the news with a gender reveal video featuring herself and her mid-30s-ish boyfriend of about a year Danny Fujikawa, as well as her two sons Ryder (14) and Bingham (6). She also explained her lack of social media activity was due to trying to hide out for a bit while dealing with the constant feeling of having to barf. With that being said, it’s probably best they revealed baby’s gender went with balloons, and not like, a giant messy slab cake covered in sun-melted frosting (aka the barfiest gender reveal I could think of and the worst one to be wearing a white dress at).
There was a lot of messy fashion at the SAG Awards last night (prepare yourself accordingly after that jump below!). But obviously any effort that was put in was immediately cancelled out the second Kate Hudson returned to the scene of last year’s fashion crime and fully outdid herself in a fluffy Valentino vision of countrified love. I say love because, duh, the hearts a’plenty, but also because I love this dress. What’s not to love? Black velvet (check), pink beauty pageant chiffon (check), a high-lace neckline with corresponding bib of ruffles (checking furiously). The only thing missing is a pink parasol. Kate probably left it in the limo for fear of being mistaken for Miley Cyrus in a knock-off production of My Fair Lady called Decent Lookin’ Gal.
Here’s who else showed up and sizzled eyeballs with style.
Angelina Jolie Decided To Fulfill Someone’s Feathered 60s Fantasy Last Night (And Other Looks From The Golden Globes)
Almost everyone who walked the Golden Globes red carpet this year wore black to protest Hollywood’s sexual misconduct problem. One thing that wasn’t being protested was good taste. There were a lot of black velvet outfits on that red carpet. Sure, it’s a bit of an obvious choice, but a choice I was absolutely here for, because anything that makes my brain start blasting “Black Velvet” by Alannah Myles gets two thumbs up from me.
But some people went a little more experimental with their all-black interpretation. Like Angelina Jolie, who showed up to the Golden Globes in some goth Lawrence Welk Show realness by Atelier Versace. It’s a little Barbra Streisand at the 1969 Oscars, with a splash of 60s televangelist, all poured onto a fainting couch and garnished with, “But detective, I swear my husband was dead when I found him!”
I’m kind of surprised by how much Kate Hudson appears to enjoy going on Watch What Happens Live since she’s been tied to just about every A-List D in Hollywood, which Andy Cohen is sure to ask about after the second Fresca and tequila. But the cocktails are free, so maybe she focuses on that and just tells herself there can’t be that many people staying up until 11 to watch – especially when it comes to being confronted with news she took Angelina Jolie’s sloppy seconds with Brad Pitt! Continue reading
You know those inane “25 Things You Never Knew About…” questionnaires they have in the glossy mags that are super dumb but you read them while you’re pooping since it’s better than thinking about how weird pooping is? Well, Kate Hudson was recently featured in one of those for a Cosmopolitan cover story and it blew up in her face. Sandwiched between the prompts “The last photo I took on my phone” and “My me-time rituals” lay a hidden bomb. A question so probing, so searing in its search for profound truth that it gets to the core of what it means to be human: “The laziest thing I’ve ever done“. Kate’s Answer? “Have a C-section!“.
Tick. Tock. POW motherfuckers!