What Am I Looking At? The Golden Globes “Red Carpet” Posed Some Interesting Questions
Last night’s Golden Globes ceremony was a haphazard Choose Your Own Adventure type situation where the stars could either get themselves all dolled up or they could choose to just Zoom it in wearing whichever housefit happened to be on top of the clothes pile. It was a confusing, disjointed show made even more so by the fact that I had forgotten I cut my cable a couple of months ago so I had to watch it unfold on Twitter. There were two red carpets, one in NY and one in LA, there was the Instyle Magazine elevator (above feat. Kate Hudson, a charcuterie board, and her brother Oliver Hudson), there were random elevators, hotel balconies, backyards, and portals into other dimensions. We’ve had a year of pandemic awards shows, you’d think they’d have figured it out by now. It should be obvious that they’re a bad idea!
As I said, it was a free-for-all. Jodie Foster’s dog made an appearance and Sean Penn even brought his cat to the stage! Sadly, Sean was forced to wear Bucatski on his head since he tragically drowned in the bathtub days before (C’mon, you can’t tell me that’s not exactly what Sean Penn would name his cat).
Please give a golden globe to whoever let Sean Penn look like this on national TV pic.twitter.com/ej6t7GNGtk
— Kristin Chirico (@lolacoaster) March 1, 2021
Like I said, a bad idea! Our collective personal grooming habits have taken a real hit this year. Still, some celebrities still managed to get their glam squads in a room with them without causing their eyes to water. The Queen’s Gambit’s Anya Taylor-Joy brought the old Hollywood glam in this emerald green Dior gown and didn’t even have to try to walk in that shit! Seems unfair. These COVID starlets have it all.
She should have been forced to have Alexa scream “Anya, Anya, look over here!” a million times while having her picture made. Now, Viola Davis has already proven herself more than capable of stomping a red carpet at just about every major awards show under the sun. Last night, she made sure to remind the HFPA that there were still a few hours left in Black History Month which means that some poor fool then had to go explain to the HFPA what BHM is.
Viola’s dress is a custom design by Cameroon-born designer Claude Kameni for Lavie by CK. And speaking of Black history, Regina King’s dog Cornbread was the first-ever Black dog to ever appear on the Golden Globes red carpet! His name is Cornbread. He doesn’t need to sign up for 78 And Me to know that he’s Black.
ATTN: We officially have the first dog cameo of the night. And Regina King, of course. 👑 #GoldenGlobes https://t.co/sQTbgqKvy3 pic.twitter.com/7HNJVlvMhW
— E! News (@enews) March 1, 2021
Here’s Regina looking resplendent in Louis Vuitton For Balconies.
And here’s a bunch of other celebrities further proving Juergen Teller‘s utter superfluousness in the digital age.
Wait a minute, how did she get in here? Who let her in?!? SECURITY!!!
Pic: Instyle via Instagram