In 2015, Charlize Theron wisely ended her one-year relationship with Sean Penn by probably ghosting him. A full five years later, and she’s yet to date again. Damn, Sean turned her off romance for life! Charlize revealed her dating drought on Drew Barrymore’s new daytime talk show. A few months ago she told Howard Stern that her relationship with Sean was exclusive, but she never wanted to marry him. In fact, she never wants to marry anybody. She told Drew that she’s happy with her life and her family, and she hasn’t dated anybody in five years. Girl’s girl Drew was all, “OMG ME TOO!”
When I think Drew Barrymore, I think of child rehab, Charlie’s Angels, daisies, and the term “hopeless romantic” (her words). Hence all the failed marriages. Number one was way back in ’95, to bar owner Jeremy Thomas. They broke up after two months. Then she got hitched to Tom Green (pictured above in all his Canuck goateed glory), and that survived five months (improvement!). Her third husband was art consultant/son of the former CEO of Chanel (oo la la!) Will Kopelman,. Will is also the father of her two daughters, Olive, 7, and Frankie, 6. They lasted an entire presidential term: 2012-2016, which is eons in Barrymore marriage time. According to math, patterns, and exponents, 45-year-old Drew’s next marriage should last roughly fifty years. But she insists she’s done with that shit.
Drew Barrymore Confirms The Rumor That Her Grandfather’s Corpse Was Stolen From The Morgue By Errol Flynn For One Last Party
Drew Barrymore is Hollywood royalty (her great aunt was Oscar-winner Ethel Barrymore and her grandfather was John Barrymore, one of the most influential stage actors of the 20th century). She’s also legendary in her own right, so when we first heard the story that John’s dead body had been kidnapped(?) by his friends and used as a prop during a poker game, it seemed totally possible (for a Barrymore).
Well, Drew basically confirmed the rumor during an appearance on the YouTube series “Hot Ones” (where she was interviewed while eating increasingly hotter chicken wings) and thinks that the classic dead-guy buddy flick, Weekend at Bernie’s, was inspired by the whole thing. Seriously, how hot were these chicken wings (INSERT: Firestarter joke here)?
It’s so interesting how the universe can turn the tables on a person. There was once a time that Drew Barrymore’s daytime probably started at 5:30pm. Now her daytimes involve kids, CROCS, and questioning the legitimacy of certain in-flight publications. Variety reports that it might also soon involve a daytime talk show.
Leave it to industry vet Drew Barrymore to be able to pull off shilling for a fly-by-night health and beauty trend like EMSCULPT while still maintaining her hard-won brand ethos of empowered flower child. Drew’s managed to monetize her “latest obsession” which, as far as I can tell, is the modern equivalent of those goofy mid-century vibrating exercise belts/orgazmatrons. People calls EMSCULPT “a non-invasive, electromagnetic procedure to eliminate fat cells and tighten muscles”. Potato, potahto. Or if you’re Drew, “pothhhhhato, pothhhhhthato”.
Recently a passenger on EgyptAir flipped open their in-flight magazine and saw something almost as questionable as a fake mounted squirrel torso from SkyMall. They got an “interview” with Drew Barrymore that clearly wasn’t conducted with Drew Barrymore.