Jude Law is done making babies with different women and has decided to turn himself into a one women guy (and maybe a nanny..it’s still early) by getting married to Phillipa Coan this past Tuesday.
The Young Pope was one of my favorite shows of 2017, because it made me feel like I was high on edibles without having to actually be high on edibles. It also gave me many moments of Jude Law working glamorous ensembles that Beyonce, Gaga, Rihanna, and Madonna wish they could work with just as much hotness.
The follow-up to The Young Pope (they’re not calling it a sequel or second season) titled The New Pope doesn’t come out until later this year, and I’m already all the way in for two reasons: 1. Sharon Stone is in it. And 2. There will be a scene where Jude Law struts that ass in a pair of pristine white swim panties. Unlike that other pope, Jude Law looks like the kind of cool pope who will gladly let you kiss the ring, specifically the blessed cock ring. I see you heathen whores sticking out your tongue like you’re ready to accept that cummunion bread and let him bless you with his holiness. I know you tramps are used to being on your knees, but this time you need to get on your knees to pray for your own sinful soul!
Nick Jonas, and now Chris Hemsworth, I guess, need to step up their gay baiting antics if they want to keep up with master gay baiter J.K. Rowling who has been trolling fans with man wizard-on-man wizard action for over a decade. J.K. said in 2007 that Dumbledore is gay. And while promoting their movie Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald last year, both Jude Law (who plays young Dumbledore) and Ezra Miller talked about the gayness of Dumbledore with Ezra saying that the movie makes his sexuality explicitly clear because he sees his secret lovah Grindewald (played by Johnny Depp in lazy Billy Idol cosplay) in a mirror (????). And now J.K Rowling is here to troll us some more by saying in so many words that Dumbledore has definitely grinded his dick against Grindewald’s brown sugar walls before.
In an interview with the New York Times (via Vulture) about his appearance in the next Fantastic Beasts film, Jude Law revealed that he’s saddened that his and others’ work in Woody Allen’s movie A Rainy Day In New York will never be seen. Sometimes, Jude, it’s a good idea during interviews to let your publicist hurriedly throw their body inbetween you and the interviewer while shrieking “NEXT QUESTION, PLEASE!”
At the 2001 Oscars, Björk laid a swan egg on the red carpet. The baby swan in that egg is now grown up and looks like this. Feel old yet?
If Amelia Earhart crashed her plane onto an island ruled by a cult who considers Missy Elliott their God and they took her falling from the sky as a sign and declared her as their Pontiff, this is what she would look like.