Scarlett Johansson should be preparing a nice thank-you basket to send over to Sienna Miller’s house. Scarlett has a lot to be thankful for, because Sienna has gone ahead and publicly slipped into the role of an actress who doesn’t think there are any roles that are off-limits.
RadarOnline is reporting that Robert Pattinson–who even when he’s 70-years-old will be referred to as: “That Guy From Twilight”–may be the latest famous rich man who got his name written down in Sienna’s list of pieces. Previously she’s been linked to such celebrity types as: Brad Pitt, Jude Law (infamously), Balthazar Getty and Daniel Craig. But honestly, how could you NOT fuck Daniel Craig? I’m witchu on that one Sienna!
A couple of months ago, Page Six said that 53-year-old Brad Pitt and 35-year-old Sienna Miller were flirting with each other at a dinner after the premiere for The Lost City of Z. That made sense since it seems like Brad’s tip gets moist for famous boho hos and Sienna loves high drama. Sienna farted on that rumor by saying it was “predictable and silly.” But The Sun says that at Glastonbury over the weekend, Brad and Sienna had their hands all over each other backstage and couldn’t stop “stroking” one another. We all know what they mean by “stroking,” (or do we?) but let me just have the image of Brad Pitt and Sienna Miller stroking each other’s fuck parts in front of a crowd who wondered if they were on a serious kind of molly and hallucinating or if PiSi was on a serious kind of molly.
What someone should ask Sienna is if that alien lobster tail on her head is sillier than the rumor that she got flirty with Brad.
Earlier this week, I repeated a rumor from Page Six about how Sienna Miller and Brad Pitt flirted with each other at a dinner after the Hollywood premiere of The Lost City of Z, which she’s in and he executive produced. Hearing that Sienna and Brad did the pre-fuck time ceremony together (aka flirting) is like hearing that a Kartrashian bared her naked oiled-up ass on Instagram. You don’t even bother shrugging because it’s something that it’s inevitable and you don’t want to strain your shoulders. But Sienna isn’t amused.
It took long enough, but someone finally matched up the former Homewrecker Queen of Hollywood Sienna Miller and noted cheating tramp slut Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt is an executive producer on The Lost City of Z and Sienna Miller’s in that shit. The movie had its Hollywood premiere last week, and Page Six says that at a dinner afterward, Sienna and Brad were “seriously flirting.” If Sienna was “seriously flirting” with Brad while he was dressed like this, she was either drunker than me after doing my taxes or she really gets the down-low tingles for pepaw clothes.
After a day of posts about Lyme disease fakers, Suge Knight shit, Shia LaBeouf going nuts again and the death of Don Rickles, what we all need is a dose Charlie Hunnam in a suit. I won’t even ruin this moment by copy and pasting a new quote he dribbled out about ignoring his girlfriend for months for the sake of his art. Not today.
Charlie, seen above working a Parasite Hilton wonk eye, put on his best movie star drag for last night’s Hollywood premiere of The Lost City of Z. Charlie has a true Hollywood glow about him and I’m talking about that damn thick bronzer. Charlie’s makeup artist must’ve set the bronzer gun to “Real Housewife At A Reunion Show” and went wild. Trick looks like he’s been making out and rubbing his face against Mr. Jay from America’s Next Top Model, and yes I want pictures.
Charlie is also the opposite of Stephanie “Excuse My Beauty” Yellowhair, because while she likes tans on her legs, not face, he likes tans on his face, not the rest of his body. Charlie is new-ish to this movie star thing, so I’ll forgive him for not matching his hands to his face.
And here’s more pictures from last night’s premiere including Robert Pattinson (working hair that I’m guessing was cut by a hyperactive toddler with safety scissors), Sienna Miller (who wore a dress made of crib skirts) and a skinny Brad Pitt who was dressed like a grandpa going to an off track betting place.