Category: Jack Black

Ice Cube Reportedly Dropped Out Of A Movie Called “Oh Hell No” Because He Refused To Get Vaccinated

October 29, 2021 / Posted by:

Who’d have imagined a big tough OG like Ice Cube would be scared of a little prick. Yet, according to The Hollywood Reporter, Cube has walked away from a $9 million paycheck because he refused to comply with a request to get vaccinated against COVID-19 by producers of a film called Oh Hell No co-starring Jack Black. And just like that, a weary world goes into mourning for what was lost. Now we’ll never know what happens when “mayhem erupts between two friends, Sherman and Will, when Sherman falls in love with Will’s mother, much to Will’s disapproval.”(via Google) Alas, we’ll all just have to do our own research if we want to find out the truth.

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Chris Pratt Will Voice Super Mario In An Upcoming Animated Film, And The Internet Has Thoughts On That

September 24, 2021 / Posted by:

Super Mario, the world’s most famous princess-rescuing Italian in overalls, will be getting another big-screen Hollywood movie. Mario’s first was the 1993 fever dream Super Mario Bros.: The Movie. This new one is an animated movie and the actor whose voice will bring Mario’s peppy, joyful Italian-accented personality to life is…Chris Pratt. If your immediate response was to check and see if I spelled someone else’s name wrong, well – you’d be in good company with the rest of the internet, who also have no idea why Chris Pratt got the job.

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Open Post: Hosted By Jack Black Following Up His Performance To WAP With A Sexy Spider-Man Dance

December 1, 2020 / Posted by:

Poor Jack Black. In pre-pandemic times fans would run up to him on the street and scream, “Jack Black, Jack Black, I loved you in Goosebumps 2! Do something funny, please?!” Then he’d do a little dance or play the drums on his belly and everyone would laugh and applaud and cheer. Without these precious encounters to fuel him, Jack the Performer is dying. So he’s resorted to filming seductive backyard dances and posting them to social media. Last time he put on a Speedo and humped the ground to “WAP”. For his follow-up, he’s opted for prancing around in a skintight Spiderman suit. Jack leaps, kicks, jumps, humps (again), crawls, climbs walls, and wiggles his lil’ butt for the camera.

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Open Post: Hosted By Jack Black Doing The “WAP” Dance

November 16, 2020 / Posted by:

There’s some whores in this house, and it turns out one of them is Jack Black! A decided improvement over Kylie Jenner. Yesterday the School of Rock star (he’ll always be Dewey Finn to me) posted an Instagram video of him doing the WAP dance wearing a red Speedo. Sure, Jack’s moves weren’t as sharp as Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s, the video wasn’t done in one take, and someone’s hosing him down like a car, but the enthusiasm is there! And when it comes to the Wet Ass Pussy dance, that’s all that counts.

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Ansel Elgort’s Bulge Got Him Trending On Twitter

March 31, 2020 / Posted by:

One possible anagram of Ansel Elgort is Enlarge Slot, which may actually be quite fitting. According to The Internet, anyone finding themselves with the opportunity to receive Ansel’s Elgort, may need to do just that. We are getting reports that Baby Driver’s gear shift is a baby’s arm. I know these are dry and flaccid times we are living in, and as such, I’m horrified to report that The Internet has decided that inspecting Ansel’s bulge with such scrutiny that he would up trending on Twitter, was a good use of its time. And the consensus is that DJ Adolescent Jared Kushner is packing meat.

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Angelina Jolie And Most Of The Chosen Ones Made A Red Carpet Appearance Yesterday

January 17, 2016 / Posted by:

Okay, so I’ve had my assistants, St. Francis of Assisi and Jesus, mark the spot where my friend God will be parting the clouds and sending down a soft beam of heavenly light to illuminate my halo. So if you can let all the photographers know that they should shoot me from over there, that would be great.”

In case you’re wondering why there was recently a dramatic increase in reported miracles and little old ladies claiming to have seen the image of a pair of severe cheekbones in their toast, it was because Angelina Jolie and her flock of SITs (saints-in-training) walked among us regulars yesterday. St. Angie brought 5 of her wingless angels (Maddox stayed home with Daddy Brad) to the Los Angeles premiere for Kung Fu Panda 3. They didn’t stroll down the red carpet with Angie – us mere humans can only handle so much blessing. But they did leave the theater together, which I’m sure is Heaven’s equivalent to seeing pictures of the Royal Family on the Buckingham Palace balcony.

The appearance of St. Angie at the Kung Fu Panda 3 premiere isn’t that surprising (bitch has a movie to pimp); I am, however, surprised her kids found the time. According to the Daily Mail, Shilo and Zahara have been busy sponsoring a Cambodian family. Apparently they were approached by a 16-year-old girl while they were getting ice cream in Siem Reap with Daddy Brad, and were so moved by her story that they took her and her 12 brothers and sisters shopping for new clothes and bikes. That’s technically enough to earn them 8 gold stars and honorary sainthood. But I guess they had an open spot on their philanthropy schedules and wanted to put in a little extra charity work, so they swung by the premier with their mom.

Here’s more of Our Lady of Perpetual Cheekbones and five kids whose faces are probably already on prayer cards, as well as a bunch of non-holy types and their kids, like Jack Black and Kate Hudson.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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