Category: The LIES

Open Post: Hosted By Martha Stewart’s “Not Re-Imaged” Selfies

January 30, 2023 / Posted by:

In this world, nothing is certain except death, taxes, and an 81-year-old Martha Stewart boastfully posting thirst traps. So it’s no surprise that Martha just dropped a fresh double batch of selfies from the salon chair on our asses. In her initial post, her face looked curiously smooth and youthful despite her caption specifying she didn’t use a filter and instead attributing her “skin looking good” to the lighting, a Dry January, and Pilates every other day. But besides a smattering of praise from blue-checked celebrities, the comment section was mostly people telling Martha to get real. So Martha then shared the other selfies she took (which looked much more believable) and doubled down on her amazing skin. She reiterated that it’s all due to a great diet, great exercise, great dermatologists, and NO filters or facelifts. Basically, Martha’s skin is just “a very good thing.”

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An Ex-Rep For Kim Kardashian Says That Time She Got Flour-Bombed In 2012 Was Planned And She Was In On It

January 10, 2023 / Posted by:

2012 was a much simpler time for Kim Kardashian. Paris Hilton’s former closet organizer was allowed to wear whatever hideous pleather suit from Express she desired without flack from der Fashion Führer. The Met Gala would’ve cackled in her face at the notion of her being invited, so she had no need to beg and “work her fucking ass off” to “fit” into an icon’s dress for a few minutes. And her now-mandated neutral aesthetic was generously gifted to her in the form of a “PETA flour-bombing” on the red carpet of her True Reflection (LOL said all of us who’ve seen every version of her face) perfume launch. We all laughed when bitch got bombed; but apparently, it was Kim who got the last laugh because a PR rep who worked with her during that time said the whole thing was a planned “media moment.”

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Matthew Libatique, The Cinematographer For “Don’t Worry Darling,” Says That The Set Was “Harmonious”

September 19, 2022 / Posted by:

Never in modern film-making has any film’s cast and crew seemed more deserving of a Real Housewives-type reunion hosted by Andy Cohen than Don’t Worry Darling. The film has continued to deliver rumors and drama from casting all the way to its press tour. I’d envision Olivia Wilde and star/boyfriend Harry Styles seated next to Andy on one couch, with the placement of Florence Pugh, Chris Pine, Nick Kroll, Kiki Layne, and Gemma Chan up in the air. Secret guest? Shia LaBeouf walking out screaming unintelligibly from backstage, enlarged texts from Olivia receipts in hand. However, Don’t Worry Darling’s cinematographer, Matthew Libatique, recently said that the set was the “most harmonious” he’s ever been on, so maybe we’ve all just been duped into salivating over the alleged behind-the-scenes entertainment this yet-to-be-released film has already provided us.

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Kris Jenner Took A Lie Detector Test And Was Asked If She Was Behind The Release Of Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape

September 9, 2022 / Posted by:

It comes as no surprise that our lives were ultimately downgraded once the entire Kardashian Koven was thrust upon us. And one of the most pivotal moments of their origin story was the infamous sex tape starring a bored-looking Kim Kardashian and weird tattoo aficionado Ray J. For many years people have speculated that Kim’s mother Kris Jenner was the person who brought this masterpiece of cinema into our lives, which is something she’s denied for years. And now, to put the rumors to bed (pun intended) once and for all Kris has strapped on a lie detector test to prove to everyone she had nothing to do with it.

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The Balloon Boy Dad Still Wants You To Think That He Wasn’t The Mastermind Of A Hoax

October 30, 2019 / Posted by:

It’s been a minute since we’ve heard from Balloon Dad, the fame whore father who pretended that 6-year-old son was in a homemade balloon contraption that floated through the sky in Colorado. We all watched it live on television to see if we were going to witness the world’s first homemade floating balloon catastrophe. It was a wild afternoon in American history. It was like a dumb version of watching The Challenger. And it turned out it be even more dumb because the Balloon Boy was hiding the attic the entire time, and it was just some family’s desperate prank to stretch out their Wife Swap fame.

So 10 years later, Balloon Dad, Richard Heene, is back, baby! And while on Good Morning America, he said that he wants everyone to know that the Balloon Boy incident was, in fact, not a hoax. Ummm. Excuse me, Richard, but what about the time your son said on national television that they did it for show, or when your wife came clean about it being a hoax?!

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