Regina King Declared That All Projects She’s A Producer On Will Be Made Up Of 50% Women 

At last night’s Golden Globes, Regina King, won the Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture award for her performance in If Beale Street Could Talk. And although some people get in front of the mic and are quickly tackled offstage by the shady “Wrap that shit up B!” music, Regina’s speech won another award for Best No-Fucks Given During A Speech because she stood her ground to have her say.

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“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Swept The Emmys

If you’re the type of person who doesn’t watch TV shows on Amazon, then The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel might sound like a film about a magical British nanny starring Dame Judi Dench. But as of today, it’s the reason why the show’s creator Amy Sherman-Palladino hauled a giant sack of trophies out of the Emmys last night.

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Ariel Winter Managed To Get Two Times The Attention At The Emmys

Attention enthusiasts know that the Emmys are a tasteful affair; you’ve got to balance out your ass with some class. Thankfully, Ariel Winter showed everyone last night how to do it. Ariel came in a dress by Steven Khalil featuring not one, but two crotch-high leg slits. Angelina, who? I’m sure her dress was very expensive, so for those of you hoping to find the look for less, I would probably suggest Craigslist the day after the next AVN awards.

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Now We Know Where The Sheets To Anna Chlumsky’s Bed In A Bag Look Went

When Anna Chlumsky came strolling up the red carpet of the Emmys last night in an ensemble Michael accurately described as looking very bed in a bag, I knew it was only a matter of time before someone in a set of deluxe full/queen sheets sashayed behind her. And that person was Kristen Bell. To be honest, I don’t know who hit the red carpet first, Kristen or Anna. It’s a real “Which came first, the sheets or the duvet” situation.

Regardless, Kristen is doing just as much for me as Anna’s look was. Maybe more, actually, because I’ve always loved a printed bed sheet. I don’t know if everyone did this, but when I was a kid, I used to make my bed with my sheets pattern-side-down. That way, when I made my bed and pulled back my comforter, you got a subtle hint of my elegant bed linens (ie. my Little Mermaid sheets). I felt so classy, like “I bet this is how Margo from Punky Brewster does her bed.” But while I love Kristen’s expensive floral sheet dress, I don’t know if many of us would want to sleep on it. I think I see beading, and I’m pretty sure none of us would want to roll over in the middle of the night and land cheek-first on a cluster of sharp glass beads.

Of course, the cherry on top of a formal bedding situation has got to be the useless satin runner that lives at the foot of the bed. Luckily, Sarah Hyland has got us covered.

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Jennifer Aniston Wore This To The Critics’ Choice Awards

Justin Theroux was nominated for Best Actor in a Drama Series at the Critics’ Choice Awards last night (SPOILER: He lost to Rami Malek) and he brought his wedded piece Jennifer Aniston as his date. You know, I was going to hate on Jennifer Aniston’s peek-a-cooch dress for looking like two dusty retirement home curtains sewn together by an impatient frog with arthritis, but I’m not going to. I mean, it’s obvious that she went through a whole lot to be there.

When Jennifer Aniston first got to the Critics’ Choice Awards, she got out of the car while wearing her original dress and when she took three steps, a pack of asshole wolves (probably die-hard members of Team Jolie who won’t let go) smelled the Baby Alive food that she spilled on herself and they tore her outfit into a million pieces. She had to run her naked ass into the nearest store, which happened to be a David’s Bridal. Aniston quickly bought a factory-defective clearance rack bridesmaid dress and as she made her way back to the Critics’ Choice Awards, that goddamn pack of wolves jumped her again and tore her new dress in two. Aniston ran into a Rite-Aid where she bought a stapler and sloppily stapled her dress back together. She finally made it to the CCAs and yes, she looked like a raggedy mess, but she suffered through an ordeal and made it!

And when Justin presented on stage, someone was blocking Jennifer’s view and she told that trick to move, bitch, get out the way.

You have to keep an eye on your man at all times because you never know when some hussy harlot whore is going to sweep in and snatch him up. Rude ho. Aniston should’ve pulled a Beanie Baby out of her purse and threw it at their head.

And here’s a million more pictures from the CCAs including some of the return of Julian McMahon!

Pics: Wenn.com GIF: UsWeekly