Jennifer Aniston Wore This To The Critics’ Choice Awards
Justin Theroux was nominated for Best Actor in a Drama Series at the Critics’ Choice Awards last night (SPOILER: He lost to Rami Malek) and he brought his wedded piece Jennifer Aniston as his date. You know, I was going to hate on Jennifer Aniston’s peek-a-cooch dress for looking like two dusty retirement home curtains sewn together by an impatient frog with arthritis, but I’m not going to. I mean, it’s obvious that she went through a whole lot to be there.
When Jennifer Aniston first got to the Critics’ Choice Awards, she got out of the car while wearing her original dress and when she took three steps, a pack of asshole wolves (probably die-hard members of Team Jolie who won’t let go) smelled the Baby Alive food that she spilled on herself and they tore her outfit into a million pieces. She had to run her naked ass into the nearest store, which happened to be a David’s Bridal. Aniston quickly bought a factory-defective clearance rack bridesmaid dress and as she made her way back to the Critics’ Choice Awards, that goddamn pack of wolves jumped her again and tore her new dress in two. Aniston ran into a Rite-Aid where she bought a stapler and sloppily stapled her dress back together. She finally made it to the CCAs and yes, she looked like a raggedy mess, but she suffered through an ordeal and made it!
And when Justin presented on stage, someone was blocking Jennifer’s view and she told that trick to move, bitch, get out the way.
You have to keep an eye on your man at all times because you never know when some hussy harlot whore is going to sweep in and snatch him up. Rude ho. Aniston should’ve pulled a Beanie Baby out of her purse and threw it at their head.
And here’s a million more pictures from the CCAs including some of the return of Julian McMahon!
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- Jennifer Aniston
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- Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux
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- Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux
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- Jennifer Aniston
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- Jennifer Aniston
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- Alicia Vikander
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- Alicia Vikander
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- America Ferrera
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- Bryan Cranston
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- Bryan Cranston
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- Bryce Dallas Howard
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- Constance Zimmer
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- Gina Rodriguez
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- Emmy Rossum
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- Matt Damon and Luciana Barroso
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- Matt Damon and Luciana Barroso
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- Marisa Tomei
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- Marisa Tomei
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- Regina King
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- Regina King
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- Maura Tierney
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- Mary Steenburgen
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- Judith Light
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- Kirsten Dunst
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- Kirsten Dunst
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- Krysten Ritter
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- Liv Tyler
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- Leslie Mann
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- Mary J Blige
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- Helen Mirren
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- Jason Statham
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- Jean Smart
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- Melissa McCarthy
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- Melissa McCarthy
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- Niecy Nash
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- Niecy Cash
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- Rachel Bloom
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- Rachel McAdams
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- Rachel McAdams
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- Rosie Huntington-Whateverly
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- Rosie Huntington-Whateverly
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- Saoirse Ronan
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- Sarah Paulson
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- Shiri Appleby
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- Tracee Ellis Ross
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- Wendi McLendon-Covey
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- Wendi McLendon-Covey
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- Finn Wittrock
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- Finn Wittrock
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- Margo Martindale
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- Ken Jeong with Tran Jeon
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- Reggie Watts and James Corden
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- Justin Kirk
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- Justin Kirk
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- Hugh Dancy
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- Constance Wu
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- Constance Wu
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- Sarah Hay
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- Shanice Williams
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- Jacob Tremblay
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- Vincent Kartheiser
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- Vincent Kartheiser
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- Fred Savage
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- Rami Malek
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- Rami Malek
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- Aziz Ansari
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- Cherry Jones
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- Bryshere Y. Gray
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- Anthony Anderson
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- John Stamos
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- Josh Peck and John Stamos
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- Zoe Kazan and Paul Dano
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- January Jones
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- January Jones
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- Kate Beckinsale
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- Kate Beckinsale
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- Elisabeth Shue
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- Elisabeth Shue and Davis Guggenheim
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- Zoe Kravitz
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- Zoe Kravitz
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- Julian McMahon
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- Julian McMahon
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- Christian Slater
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- Will Arnett
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- Jeffrey Tambor
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- Jennifer Jason Leigh
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- Riley Keough
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- Riley Keough