Prince William Screamed At Prince Harry In Front Of THE QUEEN, And Other “Revelations” From The Final Episodes Of “Harry & Meghan”
Do you feel that? It’s the earth finally settling after it was rocked by all the bombshells (not really) dropped during the final three episodes of Netflix’s Harry & Meghan, which came out today. The first three episodes were covered by Mieka last week, and those episodes were very “when the book report assignment calls for a 1,200-word count, but you’ve only got 400 words in you, so you’ve got to stretch that shit out.” The last three episodes were kind of the same. They cover the royal family drama over Prince Harry and Meghan Markle quitting that bitch, Tyler Perry becoming their Captain Save-A-Ho, and a text from BEYONCE! I know, Harry and Meghan buried the lede. Netflix says that Harry & Meghan is its biggest documentary debut ever, but its debut would’ve been a zillion times bigger if the show was only titled: A Text From Beyonce (featuring Harry and Meghan).
Prince Harry Says That “They Were Happy To Lie To Protect My Brother” In The Trailer For “Volume II” Of Netflix’s “Harry & Meghan”
The first part of Harry & Meghan (aka The Oprah Interview: The B-Sides) is a hit in the UK for Netflix. The first episode got 2.4 million smart TV views in one day. And it’s safe to say that 2.3 million of those views came from Piers Morgan’s viciously hate-fapping to the show so hard that he forgot to wish his wife a happy birthday publicly. The last three episodes (or “Volume II” as it’s pretentiously called) of Harry & Meghan come out this week. To promote it, Netflix released a trailer, and it’s pretty much the same ole same ole.’ But there’s a moment when Prince Harry says, “THEY were happy to lie to protect my brother.” As for who is the THEY that Harry is talking about, is it the Palace? Is it the media? Is it the blind tricks who declared Prince William the hottest bald guy on the planet? Well, even Netflix might be confused about who the “they” is.
Today, you can expect every single government to announce that December 8th is an international holiday where we must gather around our televisions and silently take in the instantly important cultural artifact now known as Netflix’s Harry & Meghan. After declaring war on Prince William and Princess Kate by dropping the first trailer for this shit during the Waleses’ Boston tour and cruelly paying all those fans to boo P. Willy and Kate at a Celtics game (that’s EXACTLY what happened!!!!), Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are back in the second trailer for their docuseries, where they continue to go on about why they left life as senior royals. Netflix also confirmed that Volume I (a pretentious way of saying “the first three episodes) will be released this Thursday, December 8th, and Volume II (a pretentious way of saying “the last three episodes”) will be released a week later on December 15th. But not to worry if you don’t have Netflix; you can catch this when it plays at the Smithsonian since that’s exactly where this pivotal piece of history is headed!
Prince William And Princess Kate Sat Courtside At A Boston Celtics Game Last Night, And They Were Booed
Prince William and Princess Kate’s Caribbean tour earlier this year went over about as well as a Black woman who isn’t a first-generation African immigrant existing in Lady Hussey’s presence–which is not well at all–so as we know, they decided to take a working trip to somewhere known to be FAR more friendly and welcoming: Boston. Kate and William are in the city to attend the Earthshot Prize Awards and decided to go on a field trip to a Boston Celtics game where they sat courtside; because where else can you see Bostonians at their very dignified best than at one of their professional teams’ sporting events? But some Bostonians weren’t amused and welcomed the royals with boos and chants of “USA!”
As Prince William and Princess Kate take Boston by STORM heavy rainfall so-so rainfall barely a light drizzle, Netflix has released the first trailer for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s reality show, I mean, docuseries. You may be thinking that Harry, Meghan, and their PR team are cackling into the morning Montecito air over their trailer snatching the attention away from P. Willy and Kate’s three-day tour through the land of Dunkin. But according to sources, Harry and Meghan were trying to get Netflix to push the release of their docuseries into next year because they wanted to tone down what they’ve said about the Royal Family following the death of THE QUEEN. But Netflix needs to get their money’s worth from the multi-year deal they signed with Harry and Meghan two years ago, so they’re reportedly releasing the whole thing on December 8th. And this morning, the first trailer came out. So if the trailer cuts out while you’re watching it, that’s probably just from Meghan sneakily pulling the plug on Netflix’s server as Harry plays lookout.
Lady Susan Hussey, One Of THE QUEEN’S Ladies In Waiting, Resigned After Repeatedly Asking Black Charity CEO Ngozi Fulani Where She Was “Really” From
In a totally shocking turn of events, one of the Royals did something racist. Introducing Lady Susan Hussey, THE QUEEN’S former Woman of the Bedchamber (a top lady-in-waiting), Lady of the Household (that’s the title King Charles gave her after THE QUEEN’S death), and Prince William’s godmother. Last night, 83-year-old Lady Hussey attended a charity event at Buckingham Palace, also attended by Ngozi Fulani. Ngozi runs Sistah Space, an East London non-profit that supports Black women affected by abuse. Ngozi says Lady Hussey approached her ten minutes into the event. She moved Ngozi’s hair (!!!) to look at her name badge and asked, “Where are you from?” Oh no. Ngozi answered, “Sistah Space.” Lady Hussey asked again. Ngozi answered that her charity was based in Hackney. But we all know that’s not what Lady Hussey meant. She wanted to know where Ngozi’s “people” “really” came from. “What part of Africa are you from?” Ngozi transcribed Lady Hussey’s horrifyingly racist line of questioning on Twitter. After the post went viral, the BBC reported that Buckingham Palace had released a statement saying that “the individual concerned” was sorry and had immediately resigned from her position. Prince William also made his own statement. He said, via a spokesperson, that “racism has no place in our society.” Racism? Bad? Groundbreaking.