Open Post: Hosted By The Giant Penis That Someone Mowed Into The Lawn Where A Coronation Party Is Set To Take Place

May 5, 2023 / Posted by:

We are literally just hours away from King Charles III’s Big Day, and many in Britain couldn’t be unhappier. But like it or not, King Chuck and his ride-or-die second wife, Queen Camilla, are preparing for all of their celebrations away from everyone not important enough to be there. So those poor sods are left to their own devices to celebrate in their own way. And in the town of Bath, a celebration was set to take place at the historic Royal Crescent this weekend. But now, with the addition of a giant dick mowed into the lawn, they better think of a way to remove it immediately.

According to the New York Post, the people preparing to party at the Royal Crescent were literally given the shaft when some genius mowed a penis into the pristine lawn on the site’s fairgrounds.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Splendid! A dick for a dick. It’s bloody brilliant irony!” but not so fast. Charles will more than likely not care about any of this because all of his celebrations are taking place miles away in London. So now, the people in Bath need to devise a way to rectify this issue before their celebration kicks off. And they have tons of things for the commoners to enjoy, which honestly doesn’t sound that enjoyable.

A Georgian-themed “grand coronation party” is scheduled for Saturday in honor of King Charles III’s coronation at Westminster Abbey in London.

“Celebrate the 300th anniversary of the Georgian era,” a flyer for the Royal Crescent event reads.

”Decorate your own regal crown, watch demonstrations on royal fashion and visit the Georgian Cook cooking up delicious recipes in the kitchen.”

Unfortunately, the Royal Crescent may not have enough time to correct this horribly hilarious prank, so I suggest incorporating it into the fun. Just fill in the testicles with a little grass, mow in a little string at the bottom, and BOOM, it’ll instantly look like a giant lawn tampon. A perfect tribute that I’m sure King Chuck himself would love.

Pic: INSTARImages

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