Royal author Christopher Andersen has a new book coming out next week called The King: The Life of Charles III. In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Christopher dished on some of King Charles’ weirdest quirks. Including the fact (err, allegation) that the 73-year-old travels with his childhood teddy bear and a custom-made toilet seat. Yeesh, I hope he doesn’t get those two mixed up.
The Doomsday Clock (Big Ben, I assume) for the British Royal Family has been set to toll at the strike of midnight on January 10, 2023. For that is the day when Prince Harry’s memoir, confidently titled Spare, will be unleashed on the world and the secrets buried within those hallowed pages will spew forth and wreak havoc on Harry’s dad, King Charles III et al. melting their faces clean off their skulls like that poor unfortunate souls who dared look at the contents of the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Cause you know Chuckie Trips and his rag-tag crew of minimally employed relations are gonna peek. They won’t be able to help themselves!
Everybody knows that THE QUEEN had three passions in life: gin, corgis, and horses. She loved riding them, breeding them, and watching them race (she made millions betting on races). At the time of her passing, Lizzie owned about 100 horses, and King Charles got to inherit all of them. Yesterday, the BBC reported that Charles decided to sell off 14 of the racehorses. Tattersalls auction house announced the news on Monday. One of the horses being sold is the filly Love Affairs. She was the Queen’s last winner at the Goodwood Racecourse, just two days before her September 8th death. Sooo, Love Affair is a cursed horse with a sinful name. Good riddance!
Advantage: Dench. But at what cost? Yahoo! News reports that thanks to Dame Judi Dench’s op-ed that ran in The Sunday Times admonishing Netflix for playing fast and loose with the facts on its hit show The Crown, the network has capitulated and added a disclaimer under the season five trailer indicating that anything you might hear or see about, for example, King Charles III’s menstrual product fantasies in relation to Judi’s friend Queen Consort Camilla, is merely a “fictional dramatization,” of events that may or may not have occurred and been committed to tape for all the world to hear. Now, the only “crude sensationalism,” as Dame Judi so haughtily put it, Netflix can be accused of is leaking the fact that Dame Judi herself had been in talks to play The Queen Mother this season, but reportedly turned it down, in part, because they weren’t going to pay her as much as Imelda Staunton CBE, who plays THE QUEEN.
The fifth season of The Crown premieres November 4, and everyone and their QUEEN-lovin’ grandmum is in a tizzy. First, we heard that the Royals are nervous about the show covering all their 90s scandals, namely everything Princess Diana-related. And maybe they’re right to worry, cuz yesterday it was revealed that the show will cover King Charles and Queen Consort Camilla’s Tampongate. Yesterday also brought us an open letter to The Times UK, courtesy of an absolutely fucking pissed-off Dame Judi Dench. She calls the show “cruelly unjust,” and says she supports the campaign to add disclaimers about the show being fictional. Well, today, the trailer for Season 5 finally dropped, and there ain’t no stinking disclaimer. Watch out, Netflix, Judi’s comin’ for ya!
Back in 1989, King Charles and Queen Consort Camilla were having a horny little phone chat, when Charles said it would be “so much easier” if he could live inside Camilla’s trousers. Camilla joked that maybe Charles would get reincarnated as a pair of “knickers,” and Charles replied, “Or, God forbid, a Tampax! Just my luck!” Four years later, this conversation was leaked to the press, and it caused quite the scandal. But guess who loves royal scandals? Netflix’s The Crown! In a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly, Dominic West, who plays Charles in the fifth and sixth seasons, confirmed that the show will recreate the King and Queen Consort’s infamous phone call. Princess Diana’s death, and now Tampongate? The makers of The Crown aren’t afraid to get blood on their hands (I’m so sorry).