Category: Kanye 2020
Kim Kardashian Returned To California And Left Kanye In Wyoming To Continue His Presidential Campaign With The Unwitting Help Of Kirsten Dunst
I’ve heard that the kickoff for the Birthday Party National Convention has been delayed because somebody is taking a giant shit in there right now and still has the key (it’s being held in the men’s room at an ARCO just off I-25 outside of Cody, Wyoming). So we don’t currently have any more information about Kanye West’s presidential platform or plans for America other than possibly replacing the USPS with Christian TikTok videos? What little we do have to go on is …confusing. According to Billboard, Kanye released some new campaign materials on Twitter and despite graphic design being his passion, it’s a little hard to make out it’s meaning. Kanye shared a campaign poster featuring images of Anna Wintour, Kirsten Dunst, and others, prompting Kiki to ask what we’re all thinking— “What’s the message here, and why am I a part of it??”
Kanye West Was Kicked Off The Illinois Ballot And His Wisconsin Paperwork Is Being Contested
Even with the help of the GOP, regrettably one of the most powerful (if inept) organizations in the country right now, Kanye West’s Birthday Party clown campaign keeps creampieing itself in the face. According to Business Insider, Kanye’s bid to get on the Wisconsin ballot with the help of one of Donald Trump’s personal campaign lawyers is being challenged by the Democratic Party who claim “he submitted his nomination papers late and used bogus signatures,” which included “Mickey Mouse” and “Bernie Sanders.” Additionally, the New York Post reports that he’s been kicked off the Illinois ballot, his home state, after officials found that “1,900 of the 3,128 signatures West submitted are invalid.” OK, haha, who sent in R. Kelly’s crayon writing practice worksheets from jail as a joke? Not cool, man. He’s doing his best!
Kanye West Pretty Much Admits That His Presidential Campaign Is Designed To Hurt Joe Biden’s Chances
Kanye West is supposed to be focusing on Operation: Save His Shit Marriage in an “island fortress” somewhere in the Dominican Republican, but I guess Pimp Mama Kris’ Zoom call presentation, where she uses storyboards to show how they can stretch out the inevitable KimYe divorce for maximum attention and profits, doesn’t take all day. Because Kanye managed to pull himself away for a minute to talk to his good friends at Forbes about how the Donald Trump campaign is helping him get on the ballot in certain states. That move makes it look like Kanye2020 is a reboot of JillStein2016, and he didn’t deny that, but he later tweeted that his goal is to win it all. So basically he’s Amber Rose’s three fingers and the presidential race is his booty hole because he’s all the way in.
Kanye West Had Help Getting On The Ballot In Wisconsin From Donald Trump’s Republican Campaign Lawyer
Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West. Christian. Genius. Billionaire. Kanye West! There I did it, I also passed Donald Trump’s cognitive test and got the extra points for getting them in the right order. No need to congratulate me, I just wanted you to know that I could use a simple tool like Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West for my own narcissistic and pathological need for power and attention, just like Donald. Because you’re not going to believe this guys, but Kanye’s had some help getting his name on the ballot in certain key states (yes he’s a genius, but bureaucracy and deadlines aren’t exactly his strong suit). And while Donald has denied any personal involvement with Kanye’s campaign, according to People, it’s “getting a boost from Republican operatives and an attorney representing President Donald Trump.” Christian. Genius. Billionaire. Kanye West. Look, you thought I’d forget, but I didn’t!
Kim Kardashian Cried After Kanye West Took Her To A Wyoming Wendy’s
It is our patriotic duty to keep abreast of any developments pertaining to Kanye West, who despite recent distractions, is still, according to TMZ, running for President of the United States. So like it or not, we are in for a penny, in for a pound (or more accurately in for $.02 given Kanye’s propensity for rounding up). While Donda: With Child’s water still hasn’t broken yet (what’s he even paying you for, Donda’s doula?), there has been some progress made at Kanye’s Wyoming ranch. According to People, Kanye finally agreed to receive his wife Kim Kardashian. But instead of letting her inside the compound to grab a sandwich or a coffee so they could talk in private, the two headed out to Wendy’s and had an argument in the car in front of the paparazzi.
Kanye West’s South Carolina Rally Was Full Of Surprises
I’m afraid Kanye West may have gone full Norma Desmond only instead of wearing a turban from the Nick Cannon Collection Pour L’Hommies he wore a bulletproof vest, and it’s his last shred of dignity that’s floating belly up a swimming pool. Yesterday, thousands of Americans who have enough going on as it is, looked on in horror as Kanye held his first campaign rally in Charleston, South Carolina. He should have consulted with his wife Kim Kardashian West about which soft-focus filter to use because while Kanye may have been ready for his close up, the rest of us will never be.