Kanye West’s historic bid for the White House is over. Despite a respectable showing, earning as much as .4% of the vote in some states, it seems America isn’t ready for its first Uber Clown President. Though we’ve had many conventional clowns in the Oval Office before, Kanye would have been our country’s first natural-born clown president who went on to also train as, and dress as, a conventional clown. The Birthday Party Clown community is reportedly devastated by this loss. However, Kanye seems to have taken it in stride as he sets his sights on 2024.
According to The Daily Beast, yesterday’s election was historic on two counts. Not only was it the first time in US history that an Uber Clown’s name has appeared on the ballot (though in most cases it only appeared once the voter wrote it in themselves), it was also Kanye’s first time voting in a presidential election, making this moment all the more precious. Uber Clowns aren’t born overnight, they are forged in cream-pie over a lifetime of buffoonery.
Tuesday morning, Kanye West cast his first ever vote for the President of the United States. West, who was not on the ballot in Wyoming where he lives, wrote in his own name. “God is so good,” the 43-year-old tweeted. “Today I am voting for the first time in my life for the President of the United States, and it’s for someone I truly trust…me.”
Here’s Kanye’s first time writing a name that he has 99% confidence he’s spelling correctly. He’s only 63% sure about his running mate.
The first vote of my life We are here to serve We pray for every servant leader in the world 🕊 pic.twitter.com/UWSrKslCt1
— ye (@kanyewest) November 3, 2020
Oh no! That voting machine appears to be broken. This could change everything, folks. It’s supposed to squirt seltzer to let the voter know that their vote for West/Tiddyball has been counted! Alas, even if the machine didn’t work like it was supposed to, Kanye still didn’t have a chance in hell of winning. However, the chances that we are in actual hell have increased considering he received as many as 60,000 votes, according to Deadline.
It’s safe to say at least 60,000 Americans voted for West, who ran as an Independent. While a few states were still under 80% reported as of this writing, our count puts him at 59,781 total votes. Thus, it’s a pretty good guess he’ll go over 60,000 by the time all states are fully counted.
Kanye’s biggest haul was in Tennessee, where he garnered 10,188 votes. While the rap mogul did rank 4th in some state races, his percentage of the vote was never over .04%.
Here’s how he did in Mississippi.
why does kanye west look like i’m about to unlock a new character pic.twitter.com/jLWabgXUHF
— Fizza (@FezFutboll) November 4, 2020
Like a vampire in a mirror, The Uber Clown’s image can not be rendered in split-screen. Here’s how the votes for Kanye broke down by state. (via Deadline)
All hail the Uber Clown! And a big shout out to all the conventional clowns that got him where he is today. Because of clowns like you, I can already hear the roar of the greasepaint and the smell of the crowd looking forward to 2024!
KANYE 2024 pic.twitter.com/Zm2pKcn12t
— ye (@kanyewest) November 4, 2020