Kanye West Has More Shoes For Us, And Yes They’re Hideous, But Hey! At Least They’re Eco-Friendly?

November 12, 2019 / Posted by:

In Please-Stop-Giving-This-Man-Money News: Kanye West has revealed his new shoes and they are atrocious. They look like what a Lego Bionicle wears on it’s feet. Lego, I think you have a lawsuit here. I mean, what else could we really expect from the man who brought us his house slippers/sandals/mandatory prisonwear? His new “eco-friendly” Yeezys are here and they are created from algae. Which is good, cause when these get burned for being ugly it won’t hurt the environment, right?

Us Weekly says that Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West brought out his hideous new Frankenstein CROCS at Fast Company’s Innovation Festival letting the people know that if you wanted to wear what looks like a vacuum cleaner’s filter on your foot, he has the shoe for you. He brought along the lead designer of Yeezy, Steven Smith. He also revealed the new Yeezy Boosts:

That looks like the soft skull of some creature found at the bottom of the ocean which turns out to be an alien species and also curses the person who touches it.

Steven says the foam part of the Yeezy Foam Runners are made from algae. And it’s blended with “pertoleum-based ethylene-vinyl acetate”. Which all sounds scientific and whatever, but is it really environmentally sound? I’ll let Greta Thunberg be the judge of that. Actually, sorry Greta–love you girl–but even if you told me wearing these shoes would save the planet, I’m not doing it. There’s only so much I’m willing to sacrifice in the name of doing the right thing and my dignity will not be degraded by these shoes even if these shoes will themselves biodegrade.

Steven claims this is the beginning of renewable fashions. And Kanye jerked off the shoes just as much:

“Yeezy is going into innovation. We moved the headquarters to Cody, Wyoming and we have 4,000 acre ranch and a couple other properties out there. We’re going to be farming, going seed-to-sow, have our own cotton hydro-pod, hemp farm–so we can see every element and how we can have less impact on the dyes because our color is a big signature of the brand, but also dyeing is one of the main things that’s impacting the planet in the fashion industry.”

Yeah okay, but considering how much plastic waste Kylie Jenner‘s cosmetics probably creates, I can’t really fathom anyone in this brood being uppity about sustainability. …Well, maybe because they also melt it down and put it back in their asses? “Reduce, Re-Use,” right? So I guess I take it back–with all that work done, their environmental impact must be zero.

Pic: Twitter

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