Kanye West’s not giving up without a fight! The AP reports that I’m tired. So very tired. Like every bone in my body is individually smashing that snooze button from dawn to dusk tired. After getting booted off the ballot in Ohio, Kanye decided to sue Ohio Secretary of State, Republican Frank LaRose in protest. He’s also, according to TMZ, launching a full court press in Arizona, no matter the cost, to ensure his name appears on the ballot in that state. Aren’t you tired? This shit be tiring as hell. I think one of my proximal phalanges just gave up and died.
Say what you will about Kanye’s intellect, integrity, or ingenuity, but you’d be pressed to deny his industriousness. Despite his complete inability to string together a single coherent thought or articulate even the most basic tenets of his presidential platform, other than it being Christ forward, Kanye has managed to pay/trick enough people into getting his name on the ballot in Arkansas, Colorado, Idaho, Minnesota, Oklahoma, Utah, Tennessee, and Vermont. Shit, I needed that femur too. And according to TMZ, Kanye is willing to spend upwards of $500,000 to get the signatures he needs to appear on the ballot in Arizona.
Ye and his campaign are doing a full blitz to get his name in front Arizona voters’ eyes come November, and a big part of that will lie in what KW and co. are willing to spend to get it done. Brace yourself … we hear they’ll drop half a mil if needed.
The devil’s in the details … we’re told the 3rd-party petitioning group Ye has hired to gather signatures, Let the Voters Decide, is sending upwards of 100 people into the Copper State over the next week to try and gather 37,769 names … the required number to get in.
Our sources say petitioners on the ground are getting paid $8 for every signature collected, so if you do the math … that adds up quick. Ye’s got money to blow though, obviously. Fact is … Kanye needs Arizona considering he’s been booted off nearly as many ballots he’s on.
Kanye plans on getting on the ballot in Arizona by hook or by crook. Like, literally by a crook. The firm he hired, Let the Voters Decide, is headed by Mark Jacoby, a man who according to the New York Times, was “arrested on voter fraud charges in 2008 while he was doing work for the California Republican Party, and he later pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor.” LTVD is the same firm that Kanye used in Arkansas, Ohio, and West Virginia. Mark did such a bang-up job in Ohio, that the state rejected all 15,000 signatures submitted (similar to what happened in Wisconsin). So naturally, Kanye’s suing. No, not Mark you silly, he’s suing the Ohio Secretary of State. So long, right metatarsal, I hardly knew ya. The AP reports:
Rapper Kanye West sued Ohio’s election chief Wednesday in an effort to be placed on the November presidential ballot after the Secretary of State deemed him unqualified as an independent candidate.
West’s emergency filing against Republican Secretary of State Frank LaRose comes days after the election’s chief rejected the nearly 15,000 signatures and other paperwork the rapper submitted earlier this month in an attempt to run for president, citing mismatched information on the signature-gathering documents.
In the complaint, attorneys for West’s campaign in Ohio allege that it is LaRose’s duty to accept any petition for an independent candidate as long as there is no protest filed against the petition and it doesn’t violate Ohio law.
Is there not one Ohioan with a decent (and peppy) bone in their body who is willing to file a protest on behalf of the osteoporosis afflicted among us? Isn’t Carmen Electra from Cincinnati or some shit. She doesn’t seem that busy.
Looking good, girl! Come on Carmen, file that petition in your home state. Do it for our democracy (and my languishing sacrum)!