Hot Slut Of The Day!
747, the current reigning King of the Fat Bears!
Fat Bear Week, the second most important week for American bears (after Palm Springs’ International Bear Convergence Conference, of course), has wrapped up, and a winner has been crowned. But since this year is all about random ESCANDALOS (see: the anal beads chess scandal, the Bucket Bunny scandal, the Irish dancing scandal, etc…), Fat Bear Week dealt with its own drama after organizers accused devotees of fav-favorite Holly of stuffing the ballots with spam votes. Sorry, but the only stuffing that should go on during Fat Bear Week is the stuffing of salmon into a bear mouth. Holly’s Hos (yes, that’s their official fan club name) tried it, but it was one of her biggest rivals, 747, who was crowned 2022’s fattest fat bear of all the fat bears. And this is 747’s second win.
Fat Bear Week was started in 2014 by Alaska’s Katmai National Park, home to over two thousand brown bears. It’s held yearly during gorgin’ week when bears put on the chunk before going into hibernation for the winter. The way it works is that people watch Katmai National Park’s live stream of bears eating up salmon by the river and vote for their favorite fatty. The winner’s circle includes four-time winner Otis, who won last year, two-time winner Beadnose, and that scandalous Holly (winner of 2019’s Fat Bear Week). Otis didn’t make the semi-finals this year, and Holly was knocked out by 747 after the fraudulent votes cast for her were shit-canned. 747 went on to the finals, where the 68k votes he received were enough to take down his competitor, 901, who got around 57k votes. All hail, this 1,400-pound chunk king!
Ultimately, 747 ripped apart the salmon – and the competition – to seize his 2nd crown as the 2022 Champion.
Time to celebrate & do the happy dance jumbo jet jiggles!
— Katmai National Park (@KatmaiNPS) October 12, 2022
Thank you to everyone who participated in this year’s Fat Bear Week. We had a record-breaking 1,027,655 votes; that’s a lot of love for these flourishing fat-tabulous bears!
And now for a well deserved post-meal nap (or successful hibernation).
Photo 747 courtesy of M. Walker
— Katmai National Park (@KatmaiNPS) October 12, 2022
That ends this highly scandalous Fat Bear Week, and yes, I’m hoping it’s turned into an extremely riveting Netflix docu-series. But for now, I leave you with this year’s fat bear champion trying to get up a hill. This was the moment that made me cast my vote for him!
For your Fat Bear Week consideration. ✈️ 747 may not be able to make it up this hill in a few days. pic.twitter.com/P54Hffz8PX
— explore.org (@exploreorg) August 29, 2022
While everyone is running up that hill, thanks to Kate Bush, 747 was moseying up that hill. Not only is 747 a fat bear icon, but he’s also a non-conformist king!
Pic: L. Law/Katmai National Park and Preserve