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December 8, 2022 / Posted by:

Kenner’s Tree Tots Family Tree House!

Throughout the 1980s, I sometimes would come across the plastic green jewel that was Kenner’s Tree Tots Family Tree House. Although, at the time, I thought it was really an opulent tree house playset for Fisher-Price’s Little People line of toys. But no, I didn’t learn until much later that this architectural wonder, straight out of Mother Nature’s episode of Cribs, was not made by Fisher-Price, and was made by now-dead toy company Kenner. I know; it was a real TheMoreYouKnow.GIF moment.

Fisher-Price’s Little People line made its debut in the 1950s. And it took Kenner a couple of decades to get into the tiny people toy game. But they really went for it with the Tree Tots Family Tree House. The Tree Tots were a family that, wait for it… wait for it… lived in a tree! BuzzFeed says the toy line came out in 1976, and Kenner didn’t pull some “accessories sold separately” shit. The Family Tree House playset came with everything you needed for hours of entertainment: the tree house, the Tree Tot figurines, a doggy, a cat, and a tree car. The playset looked like a regular old tree, but then you magically lifted it up to reveal an entire house, complete with a swing and elevator, in there.

Sadly, despite the gloriousness of the Tree Tots Family Tree House, Kenner discontinued it in 1980. But in 1984, Kenner rebooted it as the Ewok Family Hut:

If you’ve got either an original Tree Tots Family Tree House or the Ewok Family Hut in your garbage somewhere, then I need to ask you, “What does it feel like to be part of the 1%?” Because a Tree Tots Family Tree House goes for over $100 on eBay, and the Ewok Family Hut goes for more than $200.

You know, if I ever woke up as a billionaire one day, I wouldn’t spend my fortune on stupid and useless shit like Twitter. I’d build a life-sized version of the Tree Tots Family Tree House. Now, that would be a REAL important contribution to society.

Pic: Vintage & Nostalgia

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