Category: Dolly Parton
Open Post: Hosted By The Return Of Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza
The opportunities for catching something at Coachella are varied and plenty. And even if you weren’t there in person, you still might have caught the news that Taco Bell is finally bringing back my beloved Mexican Pizza. Yes, it’s incredible news, but Taco Bell is letting Doja Cat take all the credit for it, even though Dolly Parton did most of the heavy lifting (she’s got to hoist those puppies high just to get out of bed every morning, as physics demands). Dojo made the announcement that the Mexican Pizza will be returning to the TB menu next month, during her set at Coachella over the weekend. Look, I know Doja did a whole song about it, whereas Dolly barely mentioned her support in passing, but one word from Dolly’s lips is worth more than a million cheesy beef rhymes from Doja’s. But all’s well that ends well. Let Doja and Taco Bell have this one. Dolly doesn’t need to cheapen herself by pandering to brands, she’s cheap enough as it is!
Open Post: Hosted By Dolly Parton Taking Us Through Her Morning Routine
Dolly Parton recently did an interview with Insider and shared details about her early morning routine, which usually begins at the ungodly hour of 3 o’clock. AM. In the morning! Yep, 76-year-old Dolly says no matter how late she goes to bed the night before, her body naturally wakes itself up at 3:00. Um, sweetie, that’s the witching hour. Is it really your body’s internal clock, or the spirits of Porter Wagoner, Kenny Rogers, and Tammy Wynette shaking you awake so you can fourth in their ghost-hootenanay?
The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Isn’t Pulling Dolly Parton’s Nomination
Dolly Parton can’t catch a break. First, she spent years begging Jolene not to take her man, now she’s faced with the knowledge that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame won’t pull her nomination like she specifically asked them to do. Dolly recently channeled her inner Wayne and Garth by saying she didn’t think she was worthy of an induction nomination, and so it was her intent to pull her name from consideration. But the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame doesn’t agree. They think Dolly deserves to be there, so she’s keeping her name on the voting ballot.
Dolly Parton Turned Down Her Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Nomination Because She Doesn’t Feel Worthy
Last month, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced their seventeen nominees for 2022’s Hall of Fame induction, including Eminem, Lionel Ritchie, Pat Benatar, and Dolly Parton. This was Dolly’s first time being nominated, and, as a legend with a career spanning seven decades, I assumed she’d be a shoo-in. But today Dolly shocked the world when she tweeted that she’s bowing out of the race because she doesn’t feel like she’s earned the right to be inducted. Great, even Dolly fuckin’ Parton has imposter syndrome. Come on, girl-boss, lean in!
A Kentucky Senator Came For Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, And Dolly’s Sister Stella Defended Her
Dolly Parton is a singer, actress, scientist, and actual saint. Her children’s literacy foundation, Imagination Library, has provided over 100 million free books to children under 5 since it began in 1990. On Wednesday, at a legislative committee meeting in Frankfort, Kentucky Senator Stephen Meredith made his case for Senate Bill 164, which proposes a state partnership with Dolly’s program. At first, it sounded like a great idea. Kentucky will provide funding for Imagination Library. More books for kids! But, TWIST. Stephen snuck in this little tidbit: is the subject matter in Dolly’s books appropriate? Translation: the Republican senator wants to censor what kids read. This did not go over well with Dolly’s younger sister, Stella Parton, who jumped onto Twitter to defend Imagination Library, question the Senator’s IQ score, and refer to Republicans as “GOP nimrods.” Damn, are all 11 of Dolly’s siblings badasses like her? Dolly’s parents did good.
The Super Bowl Commercials Targeted A New Generation Of Old Folks
I only realized it was Super Bowl Sunday when I went to Home Depot and the Garden Center was the only section seeing any action. The moment I realized I shouted “MOVE BITCH, I’M MISSING MY COMMERCIALS!” as I pushed an old lady into some zinnias and hightailed it to the car. But I was too late and by the time I got home, I had to find out on Twitter that cryptocurrency, useless apps, and hard seltzer are the future.