A Dolly Parton And Miley Cyrus Song And Michelangelo’s David Have Joined The List Of Things People Want Banned From Schools

In the ever-growing list of things that people have decided to get outraged about and demand that they be pulled from schools, the Dolly Parton and Miley Cyrus song Rainbowland and Michelangelo’s David are the newest additions. You know, because with school shootings continuing to be a regular occurrence in the US, it’s Dolly Parton’s beautiful yodel and David’s 522-year-old marble goodies that are a threat to children.

At Heyer Elementary School in Wisconsin, first-grade students were getting pumped up to sing Rainbowland, a duet by Miley Cyrus and her godmother Dolly Parton, for their spring concert. Rainbowland is a song about love and acceptance and here it is:

But students disappointed to find out Rainbowland was pulled from their concert set list after the school decided it would be too “controversial,” aka TOO GAY! According to USA Today: 

School District of Waukesha Superintendent Jim Sebert confirmed to Fox 6 — who first reported the incident — that “Rainbowland” was dropped from the set list, and cited a specific school board policy, saying: “It was determined that ‘Rainbowland’ could be perceived as controversial.”

The district questioned “whether it was appropriate for the age and maturity level of the students” and because of “social or personal impacts” on them, Sebert told the television station.

I always thought Dolly was one of those icons who had the unique ability to transcend  America’s growing gap between the right and the left- almost like our country’s Switzerland. So if conservatives turn their backs on an American angel like Dolly Parton, then it’s only downhill from here. Next, they’ll be denouncing Mickey Mouse! Oh wait…

As for Michaelangelo’s David sculpture. It’s arguably one of the most recognizable works of art in the world, but try explaining that to the parents of Tallahassee Classical School, a public charter school in Leon County, Florida. They heard their kids were looking at photos of the famous sculpture in class and complained to the school, saying the pictures were “pornographic.” For that reason, the school board, led by chair Barney Bishop, gave the principal, Hope Carrasquilla, an ultimatum to resign or be fired, according to Insider:

Bishop affirmed he gave Carrasquilla the ultimatum, according to the Post. But Bishop would not say why he asked her to resign on the advice of the school’s attorney, he told The Post.

“”She wasn’t let go because of the artistic nude pictures. We show it every year to our students,” Bishop told The Post. “The problem with this particular issue was the lack of follow-through on the process.”

Bishop told the paper that the school had “several issues” with Carrasquilla in the past, including that she did not notify parents that their children would be shown Michelangelo’s famous sculpture.

Hope’s husband adds that she’s an “evangelical Christian” and the school board is wrong for forcing her to quit.

My advice for these parents? Don’t vacation in Europe. Eyes that delicate are gonna swear they’ve stepped into Brazzers. Parents are becoming increasingly concerned with what their kids are seeing in schools, but when they don’t wanna deal with them at home, they use iPads and YouTube like pacifiers to get their kids to leave them alone. Well, I got news for them, their iPads have access to things that are waaaaay waaaaaay pornier than David!

Pics: Instagram, Johanna Hoelzl/picture-alliance