You know it’s bad when the only non-coronavirus related celebrity beef is a dried up Stouffer’s Yankee pot roast that got baked in the oven too long, thrown out, taken to the dump with the other trash, rained on, then dried out again in the sun before getting scooped up by a seagull and dropped in a cornfield on Taylor Swift’s back forty. The beef in question is Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s never ending feud with Taylor over that fucking “Famous” phone call. Earlier this week, the aforementioned seagull (Kris Jenner in Moira Schitt’s The Crows Have Eyes drag) unearthed the full video of the call, prompting Kim and Taylor to engage in the most passive aggressive cat fight the world has ever seen. Now Bombalurina’s messy friend Todrick Hall has inserted himself into the narrative by talking about Kim’s vaginal crevices. Unlike many of us who don’t have much to do at the moment, Todrick is actually doing way too much.
Taylor Swift And Kim Kardashian Both Passive-Aggressively Reacted To The “Leak” Of The Phone Call About Kanye West’s Song “Famous”
Previously on The Koven Won’t Let A Pandemic Overshadow Them: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were exposed as liars when the full video of his call with Taylor Swift about his song Famous was leaked. Because all of us have more important things to worry about (shocking, I know), the Swifties aren’t really putting as much effort into the war as normal. And neither are Kim and Taylor. Both responded by liking other people’s social media posts.
In case you forgot, 49-year-old Mariah Carey and 47-year-old Eminem hate each other. Mariah has been shady with Eminem publicly and Eminem has rapped about Mariah about as much as he’s rapped about wanting to kill people. Which is a lot. So it’s no shock that Mariah got a shoutout on a new track which Eminem is featured on. He calls her a “nut job” and suggests that she “neutered” 39-year-old Nick Cannon. Well, Nick did not like that at all. Nick’s dick works fine, thanks.
The jungle gym area is going to be empty at recess, because eternal-man-child Justin Bieber is picking up the beef with Taylor Swift where his manager/best-friend Scooter Braun left it off–and ain’t none of the third grade going to miss that hot-ticket battle royale! Now Justin is mocking Taylor for her not-at-all staged, choreographed or pre-planned video evidence of her acting high from after-LASIK medication. In an Instagram-live, wife Hailey Bieber and Justin laughed about Taylor’s high-antics.
Taylor Swift’s upcoming album is called Lover, and it seems like part of this new era involves reinventing herself from the girl who laughs into her lunch when you ask to sit at her cafeteria table, to a cookie-pushing bundle of rainbow-colored hugs in a LOVE IS LOVE t-shirt. Taylor is such a lover now, she reportedly brought together Katy Perry and Selena Gomez for a song on her album. And if you have even the shallowest gossip knowledge about those three, then you know this sounds awkward as hell.
I don’t know if she’s jealous of his luscious, natural curls or what but Wendy Williams decided to come for Howard Stern on her show by encouraging her fans to buy his new book, despite the fact that he’s “gone Hollywood”. Pretty petty coming from a woman who credits Howard with helping to get her where she is. But also, who fucking cares? Well, Howard does, that’s who! Howard was incensed by this accusation and, according to People, “spent a chunk of his popular SiriusXM radio show” mercilessly (and frankly, needlessly) reading her for filth. Maybe he’s jealous of her luscious boobs.